Footnotes to the TV series
PARIS: I’m being punished. I had sex, so now I don’t get to go to Harvard.
Gilmore Girls really does seem to enjoy punishing girls and women for having sex. The consequences can be dire, and this is perhaps the first big example of that (after Lorelai getting pregnant with Rory, which happens before the show opens).
PARIS: And I have to tell you that if you asked me which of those two events I thought would be the least likely to happen, it would not be the not going to Harvard.
RORY: Thank you and good night.
Rory tries to get Paris offstage by saying David Letterman’s sign-off on The Late Show.
PARIS: Harvard. I thought of nothing else. Many of you out there can attest to that fact. I was on my way and nothing could stop me. And here’s the really funny thing – after four years of slaving away, I go home today and I found this. [holds up an envelope] I’m not going to Harvard. I got the tiny envelope, the one that reads, “Sorry, Paris. We’re not interested. Try again next year. Love, Harvard.” And the thing that’s really funny here is, who in the world deserves to go to Harvard more than me? Have you seen how hard I’ve worked over these past four years? I mean, can anyone here believe that I’m not going to Harvard? I can’t. I’m not going to Harvard. I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I’m not going to Harvard.
Paris has a very public meltdown, on C-SPAN and surrounded by distinguished guests no less, as she reveals that has been rejected by Harvard, her dream university. It’s as if it’s not enough that Rory succeed, Paris must fail – and fail spectacularly.
RORY: “Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then do something. Don’t just stand there, make it happen.” Lee Iacocca. “Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.” Malcolm Forbes. “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.” Oscar Wilde.
Lido “Lee” Iacocca (1924-2019), [pictured] automobile executive best known for the development of the Ford Mustang, Continental Mark III, and Ford Pinto cars while at the Ford Motor Company in the 1960s, and for reviving the Chrysler Corporation as its CEO during the 1980s. He attended Lehigh University in Pennsylvania, then went to Princeton to do his masters in mechanical engineering. The quote comes from Iacocca: An Autobiography (written with William Novak).
Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990), entrepreneur and politician most prominently known as the publisher of Forbes magazine, founded by his father B.C. Forbes. He was known as an avid promoter of capitalism and free market economics and for an extravagant lifestyle. He served two terms as a member of the New Jersey Senate. He received his degree from Princeton University. The quote comes from Forbes magazine.
Oscar Wilde, previously discussed. He was educated at Trinity College in Dublin, and at Oxford University. The quote comes from his collection of essays, Intentions.
RICHARD: You are going to be wonderful, trust me. Now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? … Well, don’t do it. I did it once and I had nightmares for a week. Bulgarians in Speedos.
An old piece of advice for coping with being nervous before speaking in public is to imagine the audience naked or in their underwear – a stock phrase often used in film and TV, such as on The Brady Bunch, when Jan is given this advice, which somehow assists in calming her nerves.
The idea is that the image of everyone being in their underwear will make the audience seem less intimidating, and you feel more confident. As Richard says, it’s quite useless, and a discredited piece of advice that may very well make you feel more uncomfortable.
LORELAI: I always meant to call you, but I’m not good at calling when a call is really necessary. And then, you know, uh, if you don’t call for awhile, it gets harder to call, and then after awhile, it feels like it’s too late to call, and so you don’t, although you always know that you should’ve called, and I should’ve called … I never really explained what happened … I don’t think I didn’t love you. I think . . . I think I was not ready to get married.
It’s unclear from Lorelai’s explanation to Max whether she means that she never phoned after jilting him to apologise or check he was okay, or whether she simply took off on the road trip with Rory and never told him anything at all. Lorelai seems a little unsure as to whether she ever loved Max, but she is surely correct that she was not ready to get married.
LORELAI: I’ve got the good kid.
Lorelai says this to herself, after accidentally overhearing Rory tell Paris she is still a virgin. It’s a line that infuriates many fans, and which Lauren Graham strenuously argued against. However, it doesn’t seem out of character for Lorelai, who has a lot of anxiety about Rory losing her virginity. The line comes to seem rather ironic in later seasons.
LORELAI: Oh, well, I brought pizza if you guys are hungry.
PARIS: I have to take my retainer out first.
An orthodontic retainer, a custom-made device, usually made of wires or clear plastic, that hold teeth in position after surgery or any method of realigning teeth.
LORELAI: Oh, well, I brought pizza if you guys are hungry.
In previous seasons, Paris is said to be lactose intolerant, and cannot eat cheese. When she had pizza before at the Gilmores’, Lorelai got her a pizza without cheese on it. This can’t be the case now, as Lorelai didn’t know Paris was coming over. Maybe the big blow out of mac and cheese Paris had when Jess brought dinner over taught her that she wasn’t as lactose intolerant as she thought?
PARIS: When you’re dating a boy and you’re together for a given amount of time and you’re not Amish, then the eventual occurrence of intercourse is inevitable.
Amish, previously discussed.
The Annotated Gilmore Girls 