LUKE: Nothing? I walk in here and the two of you are like shrapnel.
Shrapnel, the common term for fragments of an artillery explosion (technically not quite correct, but good enough for our purposes). Luke means that Rory and Jess sprung apart when he came in like a bomb exploding in several directions at once.
Luke was so keen to see Jess and Rory together, but the minute he actually finds them just about to kiss, he freaks out. What did he think two eighteen-year-olds were going to do alone together?
RORY: Yup, here we are. Wow, I haven’t seen it since you guys redid it … It’s bigger.
JESS: Ripping a wall down can have that effect on a room.
As you may recall, Luke renovated the apartment back in March, after buying the flower shop next door. They knocked down the wall between the apartment and the upper floor of the flower shop. It feels as if that should have made the apartment twice as big, but it only looks slightly more roomy than before. For some reason, Jess still doesn’t have his own room, which was supposed to be the initial reason for the renovation. The whole renovation (which is of course quite fictional, they didn’t renovate the set) thus seems like a lot of wasted opportunity and money on Luke’s part.
This seems to be Rory and Jess’ first opportunity to be alone together since the dance, more than a week ago. They haven’t rushed into this, and are naturally extremely nervous with one another.
KIRK: I need your help. I don’t know what to do. I’m shaking like a spastic colon.
A spastic colon, or colon spasm, describes the situation when the muscles around the small and large intestines spontaneously and suddenly contract, causing pain, cramping, bloating, and an urgent need to use the toilet.
This common condition is strongly associated with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which is sometimes known as spastic colon, even though not everyone with IBS gets colon spasms, and not everyone with colon spasms has IBS. It is not always clear what causes it, although a change of diet, more exercise, managing stress, and sometimes medications may be offered as part of a treatment plan.
Kirk’s phrasing may suggest that he suffers from IBS himself.
LORELAI: Mm, let me see. . . manipulate, evil plan, no free will, pearls – no, I think you about covered it. Oh, wait – did you call my father the Puppet Master?
Puppet Master, a figurative term for someone who controls other people and events, “pulling the strings” in the background, like a puppeteer.
As a fan of the band Metallica, it seems almost impossible that Lorelai would not be thinking of their 1986 song “Master of Puppets”, from the album of the same name. It is one of their most popular and well-known songs.
RORY: I’m sure you and I can figure out a fun thing to do while they’re off at dinner, some cool road trip thing.
LORELAI: In New Haven? … Sweetie, have you ever been to New Haven? … Take a look at the coffee pot tomorrow before I clean it, that’s New Haven.
New Haven is a city in Connecticut on New Haven Harbor on the northern shore of Long Island Sound, and is part of the New York City greater metropolitan area. With a population of around 130 000, it is the third-largest city in Connecticut. One of the first planned cities in America, founded by Puritans in 1638, it is the home of Yale University, New Haven’s biggest employer and taxpapyer, and an integral part of the city’s economy. It bills itself as the “Cultural Capital of Connecticut”, and is also known as “The Elm City” because of the trees planted during the first public tree planting program in America.
Lorelai’s view that New Haven is a complete dump is one shared by quite a few people. The city has the fastest growing income inequality in the US, so there’s a lot of poverty, a high crime rate, and apparently it has a problem with littering and dumping trash illegally. Another view is that it is a cool, diverse city that’s far more interesting than most of Connecticut.
RICHARD: You know, you might wanna come with me next week … To Yale … Oh, I don’t mean to the dinner, that would be boring for you, but you might enjoy seeing the school … Your mother could come too. It would be a fun little adventure … We could drive down, have a little roadside snack, get there about noon. Have a little tour, and then the two of you girls could go off and have fun, and the old folks can have a somber little dinner. I think you’d love to see it. I certainly would love to show it to you.
While in the kitchen together, Richard takes the opportunity to privately invite Rory to Yale University, to take a tour of the university. He couches this is in terms of them having a fun day out together, and him wanting to share his alma mater memories with Rory, but of course he’s hoping she might be persuaded to apply to Yale.
RICHARD: Well, I’m no Perry Como, but my shower hasn’t kicked me out yet.
Pierino “Perry” Como (1912-2001), singer, actor and television personality. During a career spanning more than half a century, he recorded primarily vocal pop and was renowned for the intimate, easy-listening genre. He sold millions of records and pioneered a weekly musical variety television show.
Como received five Emmys, a Christopher Award, and a Peabody Award. He received a Kennedy Center Honor in 1987 and was inducted into the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Hall of Fame in 1990. Posthumously, he received the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2002 and was inducted into the Long Island Music Hall of Fame in 2006. He has the distinction of having three stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his work in radio, television, and music.