DEAN: So, did you and Paris actually kiss or was that like a stage thing? RORY: A lady never kisses and tells.
Very clever, because Rory is not telling Dean about her kiss with Tristan. (A slight callback to Kiss and Tell, the episode where Rory and Dean first kiss, and everyone knows about it).
It was quite obvious that Paris and Rory didn’t kiss, Paris didn’t even pretend to kiss Rory. I’m actually not convinced they could have got a good mark for the project. Two members of their group dropped out at the last minute, they didn’t offer a unique perspective on the play, Paris as Romeo sounds irritated more than anything else, and there’s no tragically romantic kiss. As it was fifty percent of their grade, that doesn’t sound good for their overall result.
[Paris comes back dressed as Romeo] PARIS: What are you standing there for? Let’s go. You better start sucking on an Altoid.
Altoids are a brand of mints sold in metal tins. Created by the London business Smith & Company in the late 18th century, they became part of the Chicago-based firm Callard & Bowser in the 19th century. Their advertising slogan is “The Original Celebrated Curiously Strong Mints”. They are less widely available in the UK than in the US, although Marks & Spencer has an almost identical product called Curiously Strong Mints.
Why Rory had to suck on a breath mint when Paris didn’t even kiss her, I don’t know. Paris is very keen on hygiene though, and perhaps she wasn’t convinced Rory was clean enough.
(There is an odd sort of logic to Paris taking over as Romeo, because in Romeo and Juliet, Juliet was meant to marry Count Paris).
TRISTAN: Well, it’s just, with this being our last kiss and all, it makes me think about our first kiss. You know, at the party. RORY: What? … TRISTAN: You remember the kiss. In Act 1 at the Capulet’s masked party?
Tristan promised not to say anything to Dean about the kiss he and Rory shared at Madeline’s party. However, he finds a fiendish way to allude to it, by talking about the first kiss their characters shared at the Capulet’s masked ball in Act 1, and suggesting that perhaps Juliet should cry during their kiss. This serves to delay the actual kiss, as he leaves Rory dangling while he pops up to ask for opinions. She’s clearly dreading being kissed in front of Dean, and he doesn’t let her get it over with quickly.
Rory naturally panics at where this slow reveal may be going, and begs Dean to leave, as he is making rehearsal more difficult. This situation is basically all Dean’s fault. He shouldn’t be at rehearsal – Rory is doing schoolwork, and he is at best a massive distraction. Dean knows perfectly well that he and Tristan get on each other’s nerves, they almost had a fist fight the first time they met. The rehearsal could never be anything but a disaster with Dean there.
Once Dean is gone, Tristan ends up storming out of the rehearsal in a temper, ready for trouble, and they have lost their Romeo the night before they have to perform the scene. By doing so, Tristan never does kiss Rory again. On some level, was he quitting as Romeo in order to protect Rory from a kiss she never wanted to have, to save his own pride if nothing else?
LORELAI: Hey Dean. Do you want some fries? DEAN: No, I’m actually going home for dinner. My mom made fried chicken tonight and she saved me some. LORELAI: Oh, you have a cooking mom. RORY: That’s so nice.
That Dean had a mother who enjoyed cooking and cooked every weekend was established months ago during That Damn Donna Reed. Much of the plot hinged upon it. Dean and Rory had a huge fight because of it. Somehow Lorelai and Rory now react as if this is fresh news that they are barely concerned about, although they still do a little passive-aggressive sniping. Perhaps they are demonstrating they have mostly moved on from that.
LORELAI: So tell me about the big rehearsal. RORY: We got off to a shaky start, and Louise acts like she’s the priest in a Madonna video, but by the end, we were not half bad.
Rory may be thinking of the music video for Madonna’s 1989 song Like a Prayer, from the album of the same name. Much of the video’s action takes place in a church, and although there’s no actual priest, there’s a saint (I believe it’s St. Martin de Porres) in priestly-looking robes.
LORELAI: It was a totally casual date. I am now officially a casual dater.
On her first date with Max, Lorelai told him that until she met him, all her dating life was pretty casual. Now she acts as if this is something new to her. Perhaps she means it’s a skill she’s had to re-learn, or her previous dating life wasn’t quite as casual as she made it sound.
LORELAI: Remember that Meryl Streep movie where she and her family take a rafting trip and then psycho Kevin Bacon forces them to take ’em down the river?
Lorelai references The River Wild, a 1994 thriller directed by Curtis Hanson. It stars Meryl Streep as a woman on a whitewater rafting trip with her family, and Kevin Bacon as one of a group of men who join them, before it becomes apparent his character is a violent criminal who forces them at gunpoint into a terrifying trip down the river.
The film received lukewarm reviews, mostly for not being scary enough, but was praised for its cinematography and Streep’s performance. It’s one of the rare films which has a woman, in a cast of males, as the action hero protector.
It is confirmed here that Lorelai is a Kevin Bacon fan (presumably the reason she watched the film, although she’s a Meryl Streep fan as well), and that he is one of her celebrity crushes.
LORELAI: He’s never seen Ab Fab. RORY: Definitely not a soulmate.
Absolutely Fabulous (often called Ab Fab) is a British television sitcom starring Jennifer Saunders as Edina “Eddy” Monsoon, a heavy-drinking PR agent who spends all her time chasing the latest hip fad, and Joanna Lumley as her best friend Patsy Stone, a fashion editor whose drug abuse, alcohol consumption and promiscuity are at almost life-threatening proportions. Eddy’s studious daughter Saffron “Saffy”, played by Julia Sawalha, is the sensible one who tries to rein in her wayward mother’s worst excesses, taking on the parent role in their relationship.
The first three series were broadcast on the BBC in the UK from 1992 to 1994, with a special in 1996. In the US, it premiered in 1994 on Comedy Central. After receiving critical acclaim and being named one of the greatest British sitcoms of all time in 2000, it was revived in 2001 – Lorelai may have become a fan quite recently. It was shown on the Oxygen Network, which might be how she watched it, and became a cult hit in the US.
The revival continued until 2004, with a twentieth anniversary series of specials in 2011-2012. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie was released in 2016.
Absolutely Fabulous‘ demographic was, broadly speaking, gay men and straight women over 35, so it’s hardly surprising that Paul has never seen it. I think it’s unrealistic to expect her “soulmate” to be a fan of the show.
The mother-daughter relationship between Eddy and Saffy is an exaggerated version of that between Lorelai and Rory, and Eddy’s outrageous outfits sometimes aren’t much worse than a few of Lorelai’s more questionable fashion choices. I think this would have been a show Lorelai and Rory would have enjoyed watching together, seeing something of themselves in the characters. Perhaps Rory is Lorelai’s true soulmate.
DEAN: What do you have to be sorry for? RORY: That . . . that I didn’t tell you about the rehearsal. And that No Doubt is touring with U2. I know you’re extremely disappointed in Bono.
No Doubt is an American rock band formed in 1986, consisting of vocalist Gwen Stefani, guitarist Tom Dumont, bassist Tony Kanal, and drummer Adrian Young. Their 1992 eponymous debut album made little impact, but their 1995 follow-up, The Beacon Street Collection, sold more than 100 000 copies after they changed to a ska-punk sound. Their 1995 album, Tragic Kingdom, was certified diamond, with singles Don’t Speak, and Just a Girl becoming hits – the first spending 16 weeks at #1 in the US. Their most recent album at this point was Return of Saturn in 2000, although Rock Steady was just about to be released, in early December 2001.
No Doubt were one of the openers for U2 on the third leg of their Elevation Tour – the same one PJ Harvey had opened for earlier. No Doubt were one of the support acts at Madison Square Garden in late October 2001, then the only support act from November 5th to 25th, in California, Texas, Utah, Nevada, and Arizona.
As Tristan invited Rory to the Elevation Tour when they were performing in Hartford, it feels somewhat tactless for her to bring it up while trying to placate Dean. But it may also be reminding Dean that he shares her musical tastes more than Tristan, as both Dean and Rory appear to be U2 fans. He wasn’t before going out with Rory, so perhaps she has influenced him in this regard.
LORELAI: Have you seen my bag with the beads and the fur, kind of looks like Stalin’s head?
Joseph Stalin (1878-1953), Georgian revolutionary and Soviet leader who governed the Soviet Union from 1924 until his death. He is occasionally depicted wearing a round furry hat, which might be what Lorelai is thinking of. Of course Lorelai has a Communist bag!
The Annotated Gilmore Girls 