“I’m crushing your head, I’m crushing your head”

LORELAI: I’m crushing your head, I’m crushing your head. Let’s go.
[Lorelai and Sookie get up and leave]

A reference to The Kids in the Hall, an award-winning Canadian sketch comedy TV series that aired from 1988 to 1995, and a revival season in 2022, starring the comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall. The troupe, consisting of comedians Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson, appeared as almost all the characters throughout the series, both male and female, and also wrote most of the sketches.

The show had a similar surreal vibe to Monty Python’s Flying Circus, and it tended to be highly censored for American broadcasts, especially in regard to religion or nudity. It has been cited as an influence by several comedians.

One of their recurring sketches was “Headcrusher”. Mr. Tyzik (Mark McKinney) is a lonely man who despises virtually everyone, especially those he considers businessmen and trendy people. He calls them “flatheads” because in his mind, their heads deserve to be crushed. He is more than willing to help by pretending to crush their heads from a distance with his fingers, using forced perspective, while enthusiastically declaring “I’m crushing your head! I’m crushing your head!” in a high-pitched nasal voice with a slight eastern European accent, followed by making a crushing noise. Lorelai does this movement to one of the people shown on the real estate slide.

Shaun and David Cassidy

LORELAI: [opens the flap] You will marry Shaun Cassidy and cheat with David.
SOOKIE: Well, good for me.

Shaun Cassidy, previously discussed as Lorelai’s preteen crush.

David Cassidy (1950-2017), actor, singer, and guitarist, and Shaun’s older half-brother. He played Keith Partridge on the 1970s musical sitcom, The Partridge Family.

Deciding whether you preferred Shaun or David Cassidy was a common pastime in the 1970s. The option to “marry” Shaun and er, “cheat” with David may have been a common solution to this dilemma.

[Picture shows David on the left and Shaun on the right]

Eloise at the Plaza

PARIS: I knew that suggestion box was a bad idea. Watch Choate get Joan Didion while we’re being read “Eloise at the Plaza”.

Paris refers to Eloise: A Book for Precocious Grown-Ups, a 1955 book by Kay Thompson, illustrated by Hilary Knight. Originally marketed to adults, in 1969 it was released as a children’s book as Eloise, with no changes to the text or illustrations.

Eloise is a mischievous six-year-old girl who lives in the penthouse of the Plaza Hotel in New York City with her nanny, pet pug dog and pet turtle. Thompson based Eloise on an imaginary friend she had in childhood, although it has been speculated that her goddaughter Liza Minelli may have been a possible model. There are several books in the Eloise series, but Eloise never ages. In April 2003, a Disney television film was broadcast called Eloise at the Plaza, with Sofia Vassilieva in the title role.

A fan theory, which you may take with as many grains of salt as you wish, is that Louise was named after the character Eloise. I cannot think of any way that could be confirmed or denied, but it doesn’t seem that implausible. Louise and Eloise both have blonde hair, are rich and spoiled, rather bratty, and have unavailable, neglectful parents.

Kay Thompson died in 1998, so could not have been the commencement speaker, and famously hated her fans, so would be unlikely to agree to it anyway. Hilary Knight is still alive, but it doesn’t seem likely that he would have done it either.

Dr Phil

PARIS: What about the [votes] for Dr. Phil?

Phillip McGraw (born 1950), better known as Dr. Phil, television personality and author, best known for hosting the talk show, Dr. Phil. He holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, though he ceased renewing his license to practice psychology in 2006.

McGraw rose to fame with appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, in the late 1990s. Oprah Winfrey then helped McGraw launch his own program in 2002.

Dr Phil has been a commencement speaker at the University of North Texas.

“Super Jackson”

SOOKIE: Oh wait! What’s that? It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Super Jackson and his atomic pea tendrils!

Sookie sarcastically compares Jackson to the comic book superhero Superman. The television series Adventures of Superman, 1952-58, with George Reeves playing the title character, was introduced each episode with a crowd of people saying the lines, “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!”.

Sookie and Jackson are still fighting over the produce he provides for the inn. Before they were dating, it seemed cute, as if fuelled by unresolved sexual tension. Now that they’re married, it seems stupid, as if their relationship hasn’t progressed, and more like workplace bullying.

Evel Knievel

LORELAI: Jackson brought pea tendrils instead of Brussels sprouts.
MICHEL: Well, aren’t we Evel Knievel?

Robert “Evel” Knievel (1938-2007), stunt performer and entertainer, who was especially popular in the 1970s. Over the course of his career, he attempted more than 75 ramp-to-ramp motorcycle jumps. Knievel was inducted into the Motorcycle Hall of Fame in 1999.

As a point of interest, a biographical TV series called Evel starring Milo Ventigmiglia as Evel Knievel is currently searching for a TV network.

Tattoo

CLARA: Rory just said you had things to do.

JESS: Hey Tattoo, just look at the plane, will ya?

A reference to the fantasy drama television series Fantasy Island which aired from 1977 to 1984. It starred Ricardo Montalbán as the mysterious Mr Roarke, who owned an island where people could pay to live out their fantasy for a weekend.

Tattoo, played by French actor Hervé Villechaize, was his diminutive and energetic sidekick. Tattoo would run up the main bell tower to ring the bell and shout “De plane! De plane!” to announce the arrival of a new set of guests at the beginning of each episode. This line, shown at the beginning of the series’ credits, became an unlikely catchphrase because of Villechaize’s spirited delivery and French accent.

Marlo Thomas and Tina Louise

FRANCIE: You do not wanna be my enemy, Marlo Thomas.

RORY: I think I do, Tina Louise.

Margaret “Marlo” Thomas (born 1937) [pictured], actress, producer, author, and social activist. She is best known for starring on the sitcom That Girl (1966-1971). She has received three Primetime Emmy Awards, a Daytime Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Peabody Award, a Grammy Award for a children’s album, and has been inducted into the Broadcasting and Cable Hall of Fame. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2014.

Tina Louise (born Tina Blacker in 1934), actress best known for her role playing Hollywood movie star Ginger Grant on the sitcom Gilligan’s Island (1964-67). She won a Golden Globe in 1958 as New Star of the Year for her role in the film God’s Little Acre.

Rory and Francie both identify each other with actresses based on their hair colour.

Minnie Pearl

TRIX: You’re single?

LORELAI: I’m single.

TRIX: By choice, or do you scare the men with your independence?

LORELAI: Actually, I scare them with my Minnie Pearl impression.

TRIX: The lady with the hat.

Sarah Cannon, known professionally as her stage character Minnie Pearl (1912-1996), was an American comedian who appeared at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville for more than 50 years and on the television show Hee Haw from 1969 to 1991.

Southern Connecticut State

DEAN: Yeah. You know, um, I wanted to tell you I applied to Southern Connecticut State …

RORY: Wait a minute, you do know that Southern Connecticut State is a four-year college?

DEAN: Yeah, I read that in the brochure.

RORY: But what happened to ‘I’m going to community college’?

Southern Connecticut State University, previously mentioned. It is located in New Haven, the same city as Yale. It feels as if the show was setting up a future plot line where Rory and Dean were both at university in the same city, but nothing ever came of it. Perhaps Dean changed his mind, or perhaps Jared Padalecki’s commitments to filming Supernatural meant that this idea fell by the wayside.