LORELAI: Look it is what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. This is a family. Rory and I, you walked into a family, but you weren’t listening and now she’s getting attached and I’m afraid she’s gonna get hurt.
MAX: So you solution to all of this is not to return my calls
LORELAI: It just took me a while to figure things out and it all came clear when I realized how much we could hurt Rory.
MAX: Don’t you mean how much we could hurt Lorelai?
After deciding that Rory is old enough for Lorelai to openly date men with her full knowledge, Lorelai suddenly panics when she worries how a break up with Max might affect Rory. It’s a little bit unbelievable, as Rory has hardly “got attached” to Max – apart from seeing him at school, they had one very brief conversation together when he came to pick Lorelai up for a date.
Max immediately calls her out on it, seeing that what Lorelai really fears is getting hurt herself. It’s Lorelai who is “getting attached” to Max, and fears the consequences to herself if they ever broke up. Once again, she is using Rory as an excuse to avoid a long-term committed relationship.
Rory later says she can’t believe Lorelai is “blaming her” for her relationship difficulties with Max, showing that she doesn’t appreciate being used an excuse.
When Lorelai meets Max at the cafe, she admits that worrying about Rory very soon jumped to worrying about herself.