EMILY: You knew this whole evening made me uncomfortable and yet you kept pushing.
LORELAI: I was trying to do everything right. You manipulated me into taking this trip and still I came. You told me I was acting like a teenager, so I tried to be nicer. You said you needed to eat, so I made that happen.
EMILY: Yes, by sitting me at a bar where you practically forced me to engage in inappropriate behaviour.
Emily and Lorelai, who have been in an almost constant state of friction since they left for the spa, finally let loose on each other. You can see that each of them have valid points of aggrievement.
Lorelai feels that she was manipulated into going on a spa weekend with her mother – Emily never gave her a chance to decide for herself by asking, “Lorelai, would you care to go to a spa with me this weekend?”. When there was nothing appetising for dinner, she helped her mother get the courage to go out for steak, and when there was no table available, she suggested they eat at the bar instead, where they had a good time together. When a man asked her mother to dance, she made it seem like no big deal to accept if she chose, and now everything is Lorelai’s fault. Again.
Emily feels that Lorelai has been incredibly ungrateful and immature, sulking and sniping like the spoiled teenager she still is inside while being treated to a luxury spa weekend, and being driven there in a limousine. All things that Emily has organised for Lorelai as a fun treat so they can spend some time bonding – she even cancelled Friday Night Dinner for Lorelai’s benefit, so that she won’t feel that “Ugh, I have to have dinner with my mother and go to a spa with her all weekend!”. Emily agreed to going out for steak, even though she didn’t feel comfortable about it, and sitting at the bar wasn’t respectable.
When Chad asked her to dance, she didn’t really want to as it seemed disloyal to Richard, but felt pressured into it by Lorelai. Although it was okay at first, when Chad got a little too intimate, she was expecting Lorelai to act like a good friend and save her. She didn’t. Lorelai figured her mother was an adult and could handle a man coming on too strongly, the way she would have. She left Emily to sink or swim.
Rory had Paris to protect her from Jess coming onto her, and from Dean’s temper. Emily could have used a friend like that, and unfortunately, Lorelai wasn’t that friend for her.