LUKE: Uh, you and I have got to have a little talk.
JESS: Hey, if you’re gonna get all Ward Cleaver on me, I gotta go call Eddie and Lumpy and tell them I’m gonna be late.
Jess refers to the sitcom, Leave It to Beaver, previously discussed. Ward Cleaver was the father of Wally Cleaver and his little brother, Theodore “The Beaver” Cleaver. Ward’s role was to guide his sons with moral lectures. Eddie Haskell and “Lumpy” Rutherford were Wally’s friends. Eddie was sneaky and two-faced, and Lumpy was a bully. Even in a fictional scenario, Jess can seemingly only imagine himself with problematic friends.
The Annotated Gilmore Girls 