Israelites

KIRK: Well, ladies and gentlemen, much like the Israelites of yore, the Stars Hollow Minutemen languished in the desert for forty years. But tonight, there was no Promised Land, no New Canaan, only a humiliating five to one defeat at the merciless hands of the West Hartford Wildcats.

After escaping from servitude in Egypt under the leadership of Moses, the Israelites wandered the wilderness for forty years – a punishment from God for not believing they would be able to take the land promised to them by God from the Canaanites, who were gigantic of stature and had fortified cities.

Only after the entire generation who left Egypt had passed away, except Joshua and Caleb, who had maintained faith in God, were the Israelites able to cease wandering. Eventually they were led into the Promised Land by Joshua, the successor of Moses. Note that Kirk mixes up the land of Canaan with New Canaan, a town in Connecticut.

In real life, the West Hartford Wildcats is actually a women’s softball team.