Footnotes to the TV series
MAX: I must say, I’ve been a teacher for ten years now, and it wasn’t until today I realized, it must be really hard to be a girl.
Max became a teacher in 1993, and somehow the needs and challenges of female students were never discussed during his training. Max has a sister, has had several girlfriends, and almost became Rory’s stepfather – yet somehow he has never considered that some things might be harder for girls.
RICHARD: Thank you for a lovely evening, and I’ll see the two of you on Friday.
The speech contest took place on Friday, so shouldn’t they be leaving for Friday Night Dinner right now? Or is the speech contest replacing the dinner, perhaps because Emily is still nursing her three friends with strokes? In which case, Richard means “see you next Friday”.
PARIS: How could I have not gotten into Harvard? Five generations of Gellers have gotten into Harvard.
In “Rory’s Birthday Parties”, Paris said ten generations of Gellers had been to Harvard, which is historically impossible. Now it’s been reduced to five, which still seems unlikely, given that Harvard restricted the number of Jewish students it would take until the 1960s.
PARIS: Pack your chastity belt, Gilmore – you’re going to Harvard!
A chastity belt is a locking item of clothing designed to prevent sexual intercourse or masturbation. Such belts were historically designed for women, ostensibly for the purpose of chastity, to protect women from rape or to dissuade women and their potential sexual partners from sexual temptation. Use is mentioned from the Renaissance, but in such a way that it might have been a joke, and there’s a good chance some chastity belts from the past are actually fakes. They were typically used in the 19th century by women as anti-rape devices.
PARIS: Harvard. I thought of nothing else. Many of you out there can attest to that fact. I was on my way and nothing could stop me. And here’s the really funny thing – after four years of slaving away, I go home today and I found this. [holds up an envelope] I’m not going to Harvard. I got the tiny envelope, the one that reads, “Sorry, Paris. We’re not interested. Try again next year. Love, Harvard.” And the thing that’s really funny here is, who in the world deserves to go to Harvard more than me? Have you seen how hard I’ve worked over these past four years? I mean, can anyone here believe that I’m not going to Harvard? I can’t. I’m not going to Harvard. I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I’m not going to Harvard.
Paris has a very public meltdown, on C-SPAN and surrounded by distinguished guests no less, as she reveals that has been rejected by Harvard, her dream university. It’s as if it’s not enough that Rory succeed, Paris must fail – and fail spectacularly.
RICHARD: You are going to be wonderful, trust me. Now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? … Well, don’t do it. I did it once and I had nightmares for a week. Bulgarians in Speedos.
An old piece of advice for coping with being nervous before speaking in public is to imagine the audience naked or in their underwear – a stock phrase often used in film and TV, such as on The Brady Bunch, when Jan is given this advice, which somehow assists in calming her nerves.
The idea is that the image of everyone being in their underwear will make the audience seem less intimidating, and you feel more confident. As Richard says, it’s quite useless, and a discredited piece of advice that may very well make you feel more uncomfortable.
LORELAI: Oh, well, I brought pizza if you guys are hungry.
In previous seasons, Paris is said to be lactose intolerant, and cannot eat cheese. When she had pizza before at the Gilmores’, Lorelai got her a pizza without cheese on it. This can’t be the case now, as Lorelai didn’t know Paris was coming over. Maybe the big blow out of mac and cheese Paris had when Jess brought dinner over taught her that she wasn’t as lactose intolerant as she thought?
PARIS: I slept with Jamie. Last night, after we talked … I went over there to study and he lit a fire and then we did it.
I honestly don’t know how that would have been possible, when Paris lives in Hartford and Jamie is at Princeton. Paris says she went over there to study – Princeton is a five hour train trip from Hartford, you don’t just pop over there for a quick study session and sex. Even if Princeton is on its spring break, which means it’s the middle of March, then he’s at home in Philadelphia with his parents, which is still a four hour train trip from Hartford. This show has no sense of geography.
PARIS: Well, look who’s suddenly decided to become Kofi Annan … Charleston thinks we need to play nice with each other, so he screws up the whole bicentennial.
Kofi Annan (1938-2018), Ghanaian diplomat who served as the seventh secretary-general of the United Nations from 1997 to 2006. Annan and the UN were the co-recipients of the 2001 Nobel Peace Prize. He was the founder and chairman of the Kofi Annan Foundation, as well as chairman of The Elders, an international organisation founded by Nelson Mandela.
Mr Charleston has an entire school to run and is in the middle of organising the bicentennial celebrations. Is it really feasible he cares that much about two students having a spat – especially two students who will be leaving Chilton in only a few months?
JACKSON: And the Saran Wrap’s history, too.
Saran Wrap, previously discussed. Jackson is apparently worried that the baby will open a drawer, and cut itself on the sharp part of the box designed to slice the plastic wrapping off. Either that, or that it will successfully get the plastic wrapping off the roll and suffocate itself with it.
The Annotated Gilmore Girls 