Tag: Relationship Insight

“I’m gonna have to bail”

RORY: Maybe Duncan and Bowman aren’t the best people to be hanging out with. They’re not as smart as you Tristan, they don’t have what you have going for you. They …
TRISTAN: You know, I’m gonna have to bail before we get to the whole hugging part. And ask your boyfriend to remind me when it’s coupon day, okay?

Rory tries doing a bit of bad boy renovation, but it doesn’t work on Tristan the way it seemed to on Jess. Unlike Jess, I don’t think Tristan is doing the bad boy act to impress Rory – they hardly seem to have interacted this term until now.

The major difference between her talk with Jess and this one with Tristan is that there is no anger (no passion) like there was when she berated Jess for making things harder for Luke. I think Rory does care for Tristan, otherwise she wouldn’t try talking to him seriously and telling him how smart he is, but it’s gentler and more pitying than the way she is with Jess, or even Dean. Tristan resents this, and is quick to leave (a foreshadowing of his final “bailing”).

Jess has had a much tougher life than Tristan, but Rory never pities him, mentions his past, or gives him a sweet sisterly talking-to, and I think Jess probably appreciates that.

“I don’t want anything to mess that up”

RORY: Look, things are really good for me and Dean right now, and I don’t want anything to mess that up. Especially not something that meant nothing at all to me and I wished had never happened in the first place.

Ouch. That genuinely hurt. If Tristan wasn’t already hellbent on making things difficult for Rory and Dean, I think that definitely sealed the deal.

I don’t think Rory is being entirely truthful that her kiss with Tristan meant nothing at all – it brought up so much emotion that she cried and was able to begin grieving the loss of her relationship. But that would be an incredibly awkward conversation to have, might be more insulting than what she actually said, and not really helpful in setting boundaries with Tristan.

(I don’t think she’s correct that things are “really good” with Dean either – he’s jealous and controlling, she’s scared to be honest with him because of how he’ll react, they have few interests in common, they have different values, she’s slowly becoming intrigued by another boy. But she’s not being dishonest, she just doesn’t have the experience or perspective to see these things for herself).

Ab Fab

LORELAI: He’s never seen Ab Fab.
RORY: Definitely not a soulmate.

Absolutely Fabulous (often called Ab Fab) is a British television sitcom starring Jennifer Saunders as Edina “Eddy” Monsoon, a heavy-drinking PR agent who spends all her time chasing the latest hip fad, and Joanna Lumley as her best friend Patsy Stone, a fashion editor whose drug abuse, alcohol consumption and promiscuity are at almost life-threatening proportions. Eddy’s studious daughter Saffron “Saffy”, played by Julia Sawalha, is the sensible one who tries to rein in her wayward mother’s worst excesses, taking on the parent role in their relationship.

The first three series were broadcast on the BBC in the UK from 1992 to 1994, with a special in 1996. In the US, it premiered in 1994 on Comedy Central. After receiving critical acclaim and being named one of the greatest British sitcoms of all time in 2000, it was revived in 2001 – Lorelai may have become a fan quite recently. It was shown on the Oxygen Network, which might be how she watched it, and became a cult hit in the US.

The revival continued until 2004, with a twentieth anniversary series of specials in 2011-2012. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie was released in 2016.

Absolutely Fabulous‘ demographic was, broadly speaking, gay men and straight women over 35, so it’s hardly surprising that Paul has never seen it. I think it’s unrealistic to expect her “soulmate” to be a fan of the show.

The mother-daughter relationship between Eddy and Saffy is an exaggerated version of that between Lorelai and Rory, and Eddy’s outrageous outfits sometimes aren’t much worse than a few of Lorelai’s more questionable fashion choices. I think this would have been a show Lorelai and Rory would have enjoyed watching together, seeing something of themselves in the characters. Perhaps Rory is Lorelai’s true soulmate.

Minnie’s

LORELAI: Well, he took me to this darling little place called Minnie’s. Very hip, very chic, very small portions.

It’s amusing that a restaurant called Minnie’s would be a darling little place serving very small portions!

Paul underfeeding Lorelai was an immediate deal-breaker. The fact she was always first in to get the burrito should have been a clue to him.

“You and Tristan wind up thrown together a lot”

RORY: I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you about this before, but Tristan …
DEAN: Is playing Romeo to your Juliet. Yeah, I heard.
RORY: But he wasn’t even in our group at first, but then no one else wanted him, and then Paris moved the rehearsal spot to here, and she did it today and I didn’t have time to tell you.
DEAN: You and Tristan wind up thrown together a lot at that school.

This is exactly the second project Rory has had with Tristan – hardly getting “thrown together a lot”. And it’s the first one where she and Tristan have had any major interaction. Dean is probably thinking of the school dance (which the entire class was eligible for), and Tristan asking Rory to a concert (which is hardly the school’s fault).

Dean is being unreasonable, but Tristan does have a history of making difficulties between he and Rory, and his intuition is probably telling him something doesn’t feel right in this case.

Miss Honesty

LORELAI: Listen to me. I know you are Miss Honesty. I have seen the banner in the closet. But this is the kind of honesty that will only make you feel less guilty, and it’s going to hurt Dean very much. It’s possibly going to screw up the really good thing you guys have going now. Do you want that?

Mm, is this the same Miss Honesty who’s been concealing multiple things from Mrs Kim for years, or the Miss Honesty who fraudulently ate Fran’s wedding cake samples? Let’s see how long it is before Miss Honesty steals a boat …

Lorelai is correct that telling Dean about Tristan would be an essentially selfish thing to do, designed to assuage Rory’s guilt while hurting Dean for no good reason (as she mentions multiple times, she and Dean were broken up when she and Tristan kissed, it’s not really any of his business).

The fact that Rory is seriously considering doing it might be blind panic, but almost sounds as if she could be subconsciously using this as a way to instigate another break-up, to get away from Dean and his controlling jealousy. (Based on later events, it probably wouldn’t have worked).

“I’ve grown fond of my cage”

RORY: So I’m guessing that you’re not any closer to telling your parents about Henry.
LANE: I mean, what are the options if I tell them? They hate him, and it’s over. They love him, and he therefore becomes odious to me and it’s over. Things are working out fine the way they are.
RORY: You mean calling him Rory on the phone in case your mom’s listening?
LANE: I’ve grown fond of my cage, Rory.

Caught in between the choice to either be forced to break up with Henry, or have her parents approve him so that she loses all interest, Lane has made the choice to maintain a tenuous connection with Henry based on phone calls. The little that Rory has been asked to do to help Lane and Henry is already irritating her, most likely because she can’t see any end in sight.

Lane is aware that she has created the situation out of fear – not so much that she’s fond of her cage, as that she’s scared of going outside it. Rory knows Lane’s background and situation, and could be a bit more understanding, but her patience has clearly run out.

The Twilight Zone

PAUL: I think it’s a conspiracy getting us ready for the day we’re all gonna be raised by machines. No human contact whatsoever.
LORELAI: You know my mother, don’t you?
PAUL: The, uh, Twilight Zone marathon was on all week.

The Twilight Zone, an American media franchise created by Rod Serling. Each episode is in genres such as science-fiction, fantasy, suspense, or horror, often with a macabre or unexpected twist, and usually with a moral attached. The original series ran from 1959 to 1964, and it was revived in 1985, 2002, and 2019, as well as being made into films and a radio show, and inspiring various books, games, and theme park attractions. A popular and critical success, it is considered one of the best television series ever made.

Paul’s theory about being raised by machines with no human contact sounds like something from The Twilight Zone, although I can’t locate an episode with the same plot. It’s a tiny little bit like the 1962 episode I Sing the Body Electric, written by Ray Bradbury, about three children raised by a robot “grandmother”. Far from being a nightmarish scenario, the robot carer is kind and empathetic, and the children love her dearly.

Paul enjoys science-fiction shows, like Lorelai (and like Luke). It must be one of the reasons she feels drawn to him. Although mentioning you have mummy issues before you even get to the first date doesn’t seem like a great idea.

Three-Way Phone Conversation

Rory helps Henry organise a three-way or party line conversation so that Lane and Henry can talk, while Mrs Kim believes that Lane is talking to Rory. It was done by calling the first person, then pressing the FLASH button before dialling the next person then pressing FLASH again. It cost extra and showed up on the phone bill. It’s still possible to do on a landline today, as well as a mobile phone.

This is the first thing Rory has done to help Lane and Henry, and it’s pretty minimal. Lorelai seems to be aware of the deception towards Mrs Kim, but doesn’t feel any need to tell her the truth despite her supposed “mom code”. Henry met Lane eight months ago, and must be very keen to be kept interested with occasional five minute phone calls, conducted with some difficulty.