“Brain-dead bint in a skirt”

PARIS: Personal anecdote – when I was twelve and I was writing the first of my trial essays in practice for the day I’d write my real essay, I chose Hillary Clinton. Then I realized every brain-dead bint in a skirt would be writing about Hillary, but it was good to clear the pipes.

Bint: British slang, derogatory term for a girl or woman. It dates to the late 19^th century, and is borrowed from the Arabic بِنْت‎ (bint, “girl, daughter”). It was adopted by British soldiers to refer to their girlfriends, as the Arabic word is reminiscent of English words for women such as bit, bird, and bitch.

Paris has not only been practising college application essays since she was twelve years old, but has also been a fan of Hillary Clinton since at least the same age. Paris would have been aged twelve in 1996/1997 – at this time, Hillary Clinton had been First Lady of the US since 1993. She took an important role from the very beginning, and was the first First Lady to receive her own office in the West Wing of the White House. She was considered the most openly empowered First Lady since Eleanor Roosevelt.

Topiaries

LOUISE: Dances help bring in money to pay for those stupid topiaries you want in the quad.

Topiary is the art of clipping evergreen trees and shrubs into clearly defined shapes as a part of landscaping grounds. Common plants used for topiary are box, conifers, laurel, holly, myrtle, yew, and privet. Topiary dates to ancient Roman times, declined in the 18^th century, but was revived in the 19^th, and became part of what we consider the “classic English garden”. The style was later adopted by wealthy upper-class Americans for their gardens. [Picture is a topiary garden in Newport, Rhode Island].

Fear Biter

LORELAI: “Hello Headmaster Charleston, this is my stepfather, Kirk. Please don’t make any sudden movements, he’s a fear biter.”

Fear biter is a term given to dogs who bite when they are scared or panicked, especially by strangers. The dog may be normally placid and submissive, but will react aggressively when put in a stressful situation.

Scones

LORELAI: Scone mix, wow.

EMILY: This new little place opened right down the road from our house and they make these wonderful scones, and that is their mix so you can make them right in your own kitchen.

Scones are a baked good, a type of quick bread which uses baking powder as the leavening agent rather than yeast, usually served buttered or topped with jam and cream. They seem to have originated in Scotland, and are common and popular as part of morning or afternoon tea throughout the UK and Ireland.

In the US, scones are usually sweet, heavy, dry, and crumbly, more like a rock cake. They are usually triangular in shape, and filled with fruit such blueberries or sultanas, or flavoured with pumpkin, cinnamon, or chocolate chips. They may be topped with icing, and are usually served as they are, without butter or toppings. They are not very much like what a British person would recognise as a scone. [Picture shows American scones].

Ottoman and Napoleon Complex

RORY: Hello living room.

LORELAI: Hello Rory, we missed you. Not the ottoman, of course, but everyone knows he’s a snob. Napoleon complex, he only really likes the magazine rack.

An ottoman is a small padded seat without a back or arms that can be used as a table, stool, or footstool. They are also known as tuffets, hassocks, or pouffes. The name comes from the Ottoman Empire from where it originated, the seat introduced to Europe in the 18^th century.

A Napoleon complex is an imaginary syndrome attributed to people of short stature, where the short person (usually a man), overcompensates for their size by being too aggressive or domineering. In psychology, it is regarded as a derogatory social stereotype and a piece of mysandry. It comes from the idea put about by the British in the 19^th century that Napoleon Bonaparte’s short temper was caused by him being of short size. In fact, Napoleon was 5 foot 7, average height for his era.

Presumably the ottoman only likes the magazine rack because it’s the one thing smaller than it is!

Senior Ditch Day

PARIS: Not that the person who actually wins will even know who Hubert Humphrey is, but hey, I bet they’ll organize one boffo senior ditch day.

Ditch Day, previously discussed.

Boffo, US slang meaning “very good”. It originated from the film trade magazine, Variety.

Note that Paris is wearing one of the 400 campaign buttons that Lorelai made for them, showing Rory’s and Paris’ faces, against what looks like the US flag (as if it’s a real presidential election, not just one for school).

“Oy with the poodles already”

LORELAI: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world … I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.

Oy, a Yiddish interjection expressing surprise and dismay. Often combined with vey, an interjection expressing distress or grief, to make oy vey (“oh no, woe is me”, more or less).

With the, a characteristic in Ashkenazi Jewish mode of speech in the US, meaning “in regard to, about, in the manner of”, generally in a disapproving tone to suggest that it’s too much or too often eg “You’re always with the jokes”, “Enough with the new house talk”.

Poodle, a curly-coated game dog which probably originated in Germany, first bred to retrieve wildfowl from water after hunting. It’s German name Pudel means “splash”, and it’s related to the English word puddle.

Already, a characteristic in Ashkenazi Jewish mode of speech in the US. At the end of a sentence, it expresses a frustrated impatience with a situation which should have been dealt with long ago eg “Will you two stop fighting and get a divorce already?”.

So Lorelai’s catchphrase means (roughly translated), “Oh no, there is a surfeit of poodles – this situation needs to be dealt with immediately, as it should have been rectified a long time ago!”.

Fans are divided as to whether Lorelai’s off-the-cuff catchphrase is actually funny. It’s certainly very Jewish.

“You drank some Boone’s Farm out of a bota bag and knocked a beach ball around?”

MICHEL: It was dignified, as most French ceremonies are. Poetry was read, a string quartet played, a ballerina performed.

LORELAI: You drank some Boone’s Farm out of a bota bag and knocked a beach ball around?

Boone’s Farm, originally an apple wine, now a flavoured malt beverage, due to changes in tax law. It’s made by E&J Gallo in California, one of the biggest wine producers in the world. It’s popular with college students because it’s cheap and sold in convenience stores.

A bota bag is a traditional Spanish wineskin or canteen, often made from goatskin. Modern bota bags have a plastic lining and nozzle.

Beach balls are commonly tossed around by US college students on spring break or at graduation celebrations. Lorelai is teasing Michel by pretending that his graduation in France was the sort of drunken frolic stereotypically enjoyed by American college graduates.

Skeet Shooting

While all three walk through the town square, Dean explains his new hobby of skeet shooting to Rory and Lorelai. He has taken it up at the urging of his father, who is a big fan of the sport.

Skeet shooting, elsewhere known as clay pigeon shooting or clay target shooting, is using a shotgun to try to break clay targets mechanically flung into the air at high speed from a variety of angles.

The show keeps giving Dean more and more interests that couldn’t be less compatible with Rory. Monster trucks, robot battles, shooting … we get it now. He and Rory don’t belong together! The fact that Rory can’t wait to make fun of her own boyfriend for daring to have hobbies she doesn’t share seems like another red flag Dean should have paid attention to.

Antichrist

RORY: Oh, right, Jess is the Antichrist, I forgot.

Theologically, the Antichrist is a prophesied figure who sets himself up as a false Messiah, but popularly understood to mean anyone who is an opponent of Christianity, with the motive to destroy or damage the church. It’s also used colloquially to mean a person or thing which is fundamentally evil, and an enemy of everything which is good.