Lorelai gets home from work and finds Dean washing Rory’s car while he waits for her to come home from school (he forgot that she had to stay late again). Lorelai takes Dean into the kitchen, and suggests that he give Rory a bit more space, advice which he promises to take. This is the second relationship Lorelai meddles in, within a single afternoon, and yet another scene of Lorelai looking inappropriately flirty with Dean, rather than maternal.
MADELINE: Okay, well, first we go for the obvious – magazines.
LOUISE: You know, Teen, Young Miss, Seventeen.
MADELINE: Spin and Rolling Stone, especially to hit the guys.
RICHARD: I hear that Jane magazine also has a young, hip following.
Teen, a lifestyle magazine for teenage, published from 1954 to 2009. The magazine included articles on technology, celebrity role models, advice, quizzes, beauty and fashion, and personal essays by readers.
Young Miss, a magazine for girls which began in 1932 and ended in 2004; it was the oldest girl’s magazine in the US during its run. It began as two magazines in the 1930s called Compact (for older teens), and Calling All Girls (for younger girls). They merged into Young Miss in the 1960s, then the name changed to Young & Modern in the 1980s, before becoming Your Magazine in 2000, although known as YM in all these cases. For some reason, Louise refers to it by its 1960s title, possibly because Your Magazine might be confusing for viewers.
Seventeen, bimonthly teen magazine aimed at 13-19 year old females, published in New York City since 1944. At first providing girls with working-woman models, and information about self-development, it gained more focus on fashion and romance, but still attempts to instil self-confidence in girls. Sylvia Plath had her first short story published in Seventeen in 1950. The magazine’s cover that month featured a story on Chad Michael Murray, who had played Tristan on Gilmore Girls.
Spin, music magazine published from 1985 to 2012. It had a focus on college rock, grunge, indie rock, and hip-hop, providing an alternative to the more establishment Rolling Stone magazine. It provided extensive coverage of punk, new wave, world music, electronica, experimental jazz, and the underground scene, as well as non-mainstream cultural phenomena such as manga, monster trucks, Twin Peaks, the AIDS crisis, and outsider art. It continues to be published online.
Rolling Stone, monthly magazine focusing on music, politics, and popular culture, founded in San Francisco in 1967, but moving to New York City in 1977. From the beginning, it identified with the hippie counterculture, but distanced itself from the more radical elements and aimed for a more conventional journalism than the underground music press of the time. Hunter S. Thompson was one of its early journalists, and they covered major stories, such as the Patricia Hearst abduction, Charles Manson murders, and NASA space program.
Jane, previously discussed. This is now the third mention of the magazine. Even Richard has heard of it, slightly unbelievably! Perhaps it was research for the Business Fair project.
Rory is amazed that when she and the other students arrive at the Gilmore home in Hartford, Paris is already there, and greeting them as if it is her house. She and Richard clearly hit it off, and she seems to easily fit in with his plans and expectations, taking a prominent role as if she has indeed usurped Rory’s position as both group leader and granddaughter – although Richard is quick to remind everyone of Rory’s status.
This is an early hint that Paris has an affinity with older men – something which will become apparent later.
Rory says that the meeting takes place soon after 3.10 pm, but the school day doesn’t finish until 4.05 pm. This suggests that they are working during class time, even though they are meeting at Richard’s house. I’m not sure how they got permission for that, or if they even bothered to get permission. Maybe Emily fixed it up, since she is friends with Headmaster Charleston’s wife, Bitty.
RICHARD: Welcome, everyone, to the first official board meeting of the StyleAid Corporation. Will everyone please take a seat?
CHIP: I feel like Ivan Boesky.
Ivan Boesky (born 1937), former stock trader who became infamous for his prominent role in an insider trading scandal that occurred in the United States during the mid-1980s. He was charged and pleaded guilty to insider trading, was fined a record $100 million, served three years in prison and became an informant. The character of Gordon Gekko in the 1987 film Wall Street is partly based on Boesky.
GISELLE: I am. I will miss him so much when I go home, but thank goodness, he will have an extra five pounds to remember me by after eating all my pasta today, that dirty thieving boy.
LORELAI: Michel ate pasta?
GISELLE: Well, yes. Michel loves pasta, he eats it all the time.
LORELAI: Not around us. Here it’s all no-carb, low-cal, let me see if I can eat less than the lab rats do.
Michel and his mother Giselle are having a wonderful time together treating themselves to luxurious meals, and there must surely be some malice involved when Lorelai decides to “out” Michel as a fad dieter to his mother (it feels like a subtitute for a different kind of “outing”, and just as much of a betrayal).
When Michel and his mother leave together laughing and joking over coffee, Lorelai looks utterly disgusted by them, and mutters, “That is so wrong”. It seems that it’s wrong for any other mother to befriend her child and joke with them while pigging out and drinking coffee!
PARIS: First, let me say that I’m glad to see you all here today, at the beginning of what I think is going to be a very exciting experiment.
BRAD: She doesn’t have a baseball bat in her hands, does she?
A reference to the 1987 crime film The Untouchables, directed by Brian De Palma, screenplay by David Mamet. It is based on the 1957 book of the same name, a memoir by Prohibition agent Eliot Ness. The film follows Eliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner, as he forms his Untouchables team to bring Al Capone, played by Robert De Niro, to justice during Prohibition.
The Untouchables was a commercial success, and received positive reviews from critics. While the film is based on historical events, it is a work of fiction.
Brad is referring to a scene in the film where Al Capone beats a henchman to death with a baseball bat while they are seated at a dinner table. In real life, Capone beat three associates with a baseball bat in 1928 before having them shot when he received word they were plotting to kill him. It did occur at the dinner table, after Capone made sure they were thoroughly drunk.
LORELAI: Honey, you gotta ease up on that love potion you’ve been giving him or he’s gonna start showing up at David Letterman’s house soon.
In May 1988, David Letterman was stalked by a mentally ill woman named Margaret “Peggy” Ray, who stole his car, camped on his tennis court, and repeatedly broke into his house. Her exploits gained national attention, and Letterman joked about her on his show sometimes, but without ever naming her. Ray served 34 months in prison and psychiatric hospitals for stalking Letterman, but refused to continue her medication upon her release, and went on to stalk astronaut Story Musgrove. She killed herself in 1998. Both Letterman and Musgrove expressed sympathy for her – “A sad ending to a confused life”, said a spokesman for Letterman.
Another rather distasteful joke about mental illness and suicide, and the implication that it is somehow Rory’s “fault” that Dean is behaving so obsessively. There does seem to be a slight acknowledgement here from Lorelai that Dean’s behaviour is abnormal and unhealthy.
DEAN [on answering machine]: Hey, it’s me. Uh, it’s four o’clock, call me when you get home. [beep] Hey, uh, it’s four thirty. I’m home, call me. [beep] It’s quarter to five – where are you? I’ll try paging you. [beep] It’s five-thirty. Did you get my page? Call with the answer … Hey, I totally forgot you were getting home at six …Hey, it’s five forty-five and I just thought I’d see if you got home early.
Dean has always had an obsessive streak and a trigger-finger when using the phone – something which Rory originally found endearing, and accepted with complacence. But now that four calls during a study session while she’s home alone has ballooned into fourteen calls while she’s staying late at school to work on a group project, she’s starting to see that Dean is not so much clingy as stifling. Even after he remembers Rory is staying back until 6 pm, he still calls her, on the off-chance she got home early!
LORELAI: Dean the determined.
An obvious play on epithets historically given to royalty – Ivan the Terrible, James the Just, Alfred the Great, Gerald the Fearless, Philip the Handsome, and so on.
There was a real royal with this epithet – Antonio the Determined [pictured], who managed to rule Portugal as Antony I for at least twenty days during a succession crisis. Although Philip II of Spain prevailed, Antonio did not gracefully admit defeat, but attempted to rule Portugal from the Azores, where he established an opposition government that clung on for three more years. He went into exile in France and England, taking the crown jewels with him.
In Antonio’s case, “determined” seems to be a polite word for “desperate”, or even “delusional”. Dean will likewise do his darnedest to grimly hang onto Rory, even when he knows he’s lost.
LORELAI: Uh, you’ve gotta read this Mötley Crüe book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It’s excellent!
Lorelai is reading The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band, a 2001 collaborative autobiography of Mötley Crüe by the band members – Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, Vince Neil, and Nikki Sixx. The gritty tell-all book received rave reviews and was on the New York Times Bestseller List for four weeks. It was made into a film in 2019.
The next page, where it gets “grosser” than snorting ants involves Ozzy Osbourne, from Black Sabbath, licking urine (his own and someone else’s) from the pavement.