The Bahamas

RICHARD: Well Straub, how is retirement treating you?
EMILY: Yes, do tell us about the Bahamas.
STRAUB: You can get an entire island there for the cost of a decent house here.

The Bahamas (officially the Commonwealth of The Bahamas) is a sovereign state made up of an archipelago of over 700 islands, cays, and islets in the Atlantic Ocean. Under British control for most of its modern history, it has been independent since 1973, but, like other Commonwealth nations, retains the British monarch as head of state.

The Bahamas is a popular destination for Americans to retire to: it is English-speaking, has a warm climate with beautiful beaches, and only 40 minutes by plane from Florida. Residents don’t pay any tax either, which is another drawcard, and to become a permanent resident, all you have to do is buy a property worth $500 000 or more.

It is possible to buy a very small island in The Bahamas today for as little as $500 000 – the price of a nice house in Hartford. I suspect for Straub, a “decent” house in Hartford would be around the 1 million mark in today’s money, and for a million dollars, you could get a rather nice little islet in The Bahamas.

That Straub and Francine live in The Bahamas provides a convenient excuse as to why they haven’t been any part of Rory’s life. (Emily asks them what The Bahamas is like, but in a later season we discover she and Richard spent the previous Christmas in The Bahamas, presumably so that Richard could relax after his angina attack).

“I wanna be around more”

CHRISTOPHER: I haven’t been enough a part of Rory’s life. So I wanna be around more, to be a pal she can depend on. I mean I’m not crazy, I know there’s already a life going on here and God knows she doesn’t need anyone besides you but … if you give me a chance …
LORELAI: I’ve always had the door to Rory open for you.

Christopher is making a massive understatement that he hasn’t been enough a part in Rory’s life – he’s barely been in her life at all, and only on his own terms.

Although Christopher agrees that Lorelai has “always had the door open” open to him, previous and future events make us doubt how much of that is really true. Lorelai is intensely jealous of anyone else developing a close relationship with Rory, and has even tried to stop her getting to know her grandparents better.

When Christopher makes a real attempt to get closer to Rory in a future season, Lorelai does everything she can to block it. It would have been even easier when Rory was a baby or a small child, and lacked the ability to see what Lorelai was up to.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday”

RORY: I’m gonna go study before the food gets here.
CHRISTOPHER: What? Tomorrow’s Saturday.

At this point we discover, surely to our astonishment, that it is now Friday evening. To recap the events of the day:

  • Lorelai and Luke unloaded their paint, and made plans to paint the diner on Friday. We now know that it was already Friday then, but for some reason they don’t say “next Friday”, or “in a week’s time”. Despite having a whole week to do the painting, Lorelai decides on Friday, which is not only the day she goes to business class, but Friday Night Dinner with her parents! She says this doesn’t matter, as she can “get out early” for a special occasion. That Emily would consider painting Luke’s diner a “special occasion” is highly dubious.
  • Lorelai and Rory went to the market to buy fruit as Lorelai felt under the weather and was worried about her nutrient intake (maybe this is how she stays healthy – she eats just enough fruits and vegetables not to get sick). Lorelai and Rory met Christopher in the street.
  • Christopher came to stay with them, and they ordered Chinese food for dinner while Rory did her homework.

So what the heck happened to Friday Night Dinner? Did they skip it that week? And is Lorelai even attending business class any more? And if this is Friday, March 9 then we will definitely run out of Friday nights before the end of the month.

(Also take note that Christopher is completely unaware of his daughter’s study habits or zest for academic life. He really knows nothing about Rory, and they can’t have ever had a proper conversation before).

Memorial Day

RORY: Hey, how’s Diane?
CHRISTOPHER: Uh, Diane is ancient history.
RORY: When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one.
CHRISTOPHER: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is a public holiday in the United States to remember those who have died while serving in the armed forces. It’s observed on the last Monday of May, which in 2000 was May 29. It is commemorated with military parades, and by decorating the graves of fallen soldiers with American flags. Memorial Day is considered the unofficial start of summer.

Christopher brought his girlfriend Diane to meet Rory at Easter in 2000, which would have been April 23, telling her that the relationship was serious and possibly permanent. About a month later, the relationship with Diane was over, yet he doesn’t bother telling Rory that until March 2001.

There’s been almost of year of phone calls from Christopher, yet he hasn’t thought to fill Rory in on a significant event in his life such as breaking up with a supposedly serious girlfriend he was thinking of marrying.

The writer (Daniel Palladino for this episode) is keen to drum it in that Christopher is an inattentive father, but it also means that Rory and Lorelai haven’t bothered asking him how Diane is in all that time either – even after she didn’t turn up to Christmas with him (unless Christopher kept fobbing them off with evasive answers).

Christopher (David Sutcliffe)

In a mild cliffhanger ending to the episode, Rory’s father Christopher Hayden (David Sutcliffe), who has been living in California for some time, unexpectedly arrives in Stars Hollow.

We at once understand why Lorelai loved him as a teenager, but rejected him as a husband and co-parent to their daughter. Christopher is good-looking, charismatic, and rides a cool motorcycle, but is clearly unreliable and immature – it’s hard not to cringe when he yells at Lorelai to take her top off in front of their teenaged daughter.

It’s also obvious that Rory adores her father. The way she eagerly runs to him for a hug demonstrates the longing she must have felt to have a father in her life – even an unsatisfactory one like Christopher. While Lorelai knows what Christopher is like, Rory still has stars in her eyes over him: just as Lorelai must have had seventeen years ago.

Lorelai once said that Rory’s boyfriend Dean reminded her of Christopher, but now that we actually see Christopher for ourselves, there isn’t a strong resemblance. Interestingly, David Sutcliffe does look a little bit like Nathan Wetherington, the actor who played Dean in the original Pilot.

(Christopher looks astoundingly clean and refreshed for someone who has just ridden his motorcycle for 3000 miles; the bike is very clean as well).

Imaginary Chick Booty Call

LORELAI: Well he got there and I was looking for Stella and he said, “Oh, you really do have a baby chick loose in the house,” like I made that up, or – I don’t know.
SOOKIE: … Well you call someone and you say, “Can you come over and help me look for my loose chick?” It’s a little …
LORELAI: A little what?
SOOKIE: It sounds a little like the code for, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

Luke apparently thought that Lorelai’s cry for help to find Stella might have been made up to get him to see her, and Sookie explains that’s how she got Jackson to come over the first time they had sex: by pretending she had a bat in the attic and needed his assistance. The trouble is that it seems difficult to carry off an imaginary baby chick that is your daughter’s Biology project for the month.

Sookie could easily have said, “Well I thought there was a bat – maybe it got out on its own. I’m sorry to have dragged yout out so late at night for nothing; at least let me get you a glass of wine”, and that could lead to sex if both parties were agreeable. Smooth move, and shows again Sookie is good with relationship stuff; if Lorelai had taken advice from her, she and Luke would have been married by the end of Season 1 and the show over with.

But what could Lorelai’s line have been? “Please help me find my daughter’s baby chick that she is being graded on for her Biology assignment. I know there isn’t any cage, or feed bowls, or proof she ever existed, but just go with it. Well, we’ve been searching for hours now, and to hell with Rory’s academic future, let’s just stop looking and have sex while she fails Biology and has to repeat a year”. Even when they found the real Stella, your child’s school project just doesn’t sound like a very sexy start to the evening.

I just can’t see how Stella could ever have been a credible booty call, although Sookie makes a good point that Lorelai could easily have asked her, or Patty, or Andrew instead.

“I can’t eat like that and look like her”

MICHEL: But I can’t eat like that and look like her. [gestures to Lorelai eating a rich omelette]

Michel surely speaks for most of the audience at this point: it drives many fans up the wall that Lorelai lives on sugary, fatty food and still looks amazing – thanks to the magic of television. In reality, Lauren Graham has reportedly been on a diet to stay slim since she was eleven years old (so if you want to look like Lorelai, start dieting at the beginning of puberty).

Sure it’s fiction, but sometimes people ask how Lorelai could eat such an unhealthy diet and remain slender in real life. The average person definitely wouldn’t, but here are some ways it might be possible, in any combination of factors:

1. Genes. Around 5% of the population are lucky enough to be genetically predisposed to remain slim no matter what they eat. Lorelai could be one of those fortunate few. These people tend to remain around the same size as adults as they did in high school, and Lorelai still wears clothes from when she was 17, so it seems possible.

2. Coffee. Lorelai drinks massive amounts of very strong coffee every day, and coffee is known to speed up the metabolism and suppress the appetite, leading to overall weight loss. Furthermore, it is a diuretic, so that coffee drinkers can keep off the “water weight” that doesn’t actually weigh much, but gives a bloated, puffy appearance.

3. She burns up all the excess calories. Although Lorelai rarely does any formal exercise, she walks a lot around Stars Hollow, and she is later said to have an extremely brisk natural walking pace. She is also a very busy, animated person who may be burning up excess calories through everyday physical movement without even thinking about it. This would also give her a reasonable level of very basic physical fitness – Lorelai seems to accomplish all her daily tasks with ease, and rarely seems tired.

4. Binge eating. Lorelai may binge on huge quantities of unhealthy food once or twice a month, but in between eat very little. To outsiders, it would look as as if she was eating 5000+ calories a day, but it could average out to as little as 1200 calories a day, and some days she might eat only eat 400-800 calories. Her fridge often seems to be empty, suggesting there’s a lack of food constantly at hand to tempt her. Those snacks that Sookie makes her at the inn, such as muffins and omelettes, could be all she eats on some days thanks to her appetite-suppressing coffee.

5. It’s all talk, no action. We constantly hear about Lorelai’s huge appetite, but we never actually see her eat anything much. She’ll sit down in front of a burger and fries, but be suddenly called away or storm off before she takes a bite. Or she and Rory will have a table filled with sugary snacks, then in the next scene the table will be cleared and the snacks are gone. Did they eat them all? Or just take a handful and put the rest away? Lorelai and Rory always have tons of leftovers from their junk food binges, suggesting they don’t really eat that much in one sitting. People with big appetites don’t usually have leftovers – they eat everything at once.

6. She’s “skinny obese”. Even if Lorelai is eating far less calories than it looks like, there’s no denying her diet is generally unhealthy (luckily she gets more nutritious food at Friday Night Dinners and from Sookie). People who eat poorly but maintain a normal weight by whatever means can have what is called “skinny obesity” – they look perfectly fine, but their internal organs are surrounded by toxic fat. Michel does warn Lorelai that her diet could kill her, but she isn’t concerned. On the other hand, there’s no evidence that Lorelai’s poor diet is making her unwell: she’s energetic, vibrant, looks healthy, and never seems to have any illness more serious than a headache or allergies.

(See here for more on the purpose of junk food in the themes of Gilmore Girls).

“Donna Reed wasn’t real”

DEAN: You do realize that Donna Reed wasn’t real, don’t you?
RORY: Yes, I know she wasn’t real, but she represented millions of women that were real and did have to dress like that and act like that.

Maybe Dean has an excuse for not knowing this, but how can Rory not know that Donna Reed was a real person? She’s been watching The Donna Reed Show for years, it seems, and would have seen the name Donna Reed in the credits, if nothing else.

Not only that, but the character of Donna Stone on The Donna Reed Show was strongly based on Donna Reed’s real personality and way of life, to the point where friends and family could instantly recognise the character as a TV version of the actress. Even the fictional character has a basis in fact.

Catherine the Great

While Lorelai is mending her Chilton school sweater, Rory studies for a History test (her midterm exam?), reading through index cards on Catherine the Great.

Catherine II (1729-1796), also known as Catherine the Great, was Empress of Russia from 1762 to 1796, the country’s longest-ruling female leader. Under her reign, Russia grew larger and stronger, and was recognised as one of the great powers of Europe, while the period of her rule is considered the Golden Age of the Russian Empire and the Russian nobility. As patron of the arts, she presided over the Russian Enlightenment, and decreed the first state-funded institute of higher learning for women.

As Rory’s notes say, she was born Princess Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst-Dornburg in Prussia. Although Lorelai jokes that everyone called her Kitten, her nickname was Figchen, a short form of her middle name Friederike. She received the name Yekaterina (Catherine) in 1744 on converting to the Russian Orthodox faith in preparation for her marriage.

Catherine married her second cousin Peter von Holstein-Gottorp, Duke of Holstein-Gottorp (that’s in north-west Germany) in 1745 – not 1754 as Rory says. Their marriage was indeed unhappy, and Catherine detested Peter at first sight. He had a difficult personality, and both of them were unfaithful to each other, with Catherine taking many lovers during her lifetime.

Peter became Peter III, Emperor of Russia in 1762, but six months later was deposed and possibly assassinated as the result of a conspiracy led by his wife Catherine, who succeeded him to the throne.

In an episode focused on women’s roles, this is a reminder of one of history’s most powerful female leaders.

“Written by a man”

 

Lorelai says that the scripts for The Donna Reed Show were written by a man, which Rory endorses. Although most of the writers on the show were male, there were female writers too, including Barbara Avedon (creator of Cagney & Lacey) [pictured], Helen Levitt, Erna Lazarus, Peggy Chantler Dick, Kay Lenard, Mathilde Ferro, Jacqueline Trotte, Sheila Lynch, and Janet Carlson.

Amusingly, That Damn Donna Reed was written by a man – Daniel Palladino. There may be a slight suggestion here that just because a man writes a script for female characters doesn’t automatically make it anti-woman or oppressive to them, just as a script by a woman isn’t necessarily a feminist text.