Lorelai and Christopher’s Band Rivalry

CHRISTOPHER: You know I don’t deserve that, I’m as mature as you.
LORELAI: What? The Offspring is your favorite band.
CHRISTOPHER: So? You’re into Metallica.
LORELAI: Well, Metallica is way more substantial than The Offspring.
CHRISTOPHER: Here we go, it’s the same Black Sabbath riff all over again.
LORELAI: Oh! The Offspring have like one chord progression. They use it over and over. They just popped on new words and called it a single, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore!

The Offspring is an American rock band formed in 1984 by Bryan “Dexter” Holland and Greg Kriesel. Their self-titled debut album was released in 1989, and they gained mainstream success in 1994 with their biggest-selling album, Smash. In 2001, their most recent album was Conspiracy of One, which came out the previous year. They were one of the most popular punk bands of the 1990s, and their biggest hits of this era include Come Out to Play (1994) and Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) (1998).

Metallica is an American heavy metal band formed in 1981 by Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield, and one of the founding bands of thrash metal. Metallica attracted a fan base in the underground music community while also gaining critical acclaim. Their 1986 album Master of Puppets was highly influential in thrash metal, while their self-titled 1991 album brought them wider mainstream success and is their biggest-selling album. In 2001 their most recent album was Reload (1997). One of the most commercially successful bands of all time, Metallica have won nine Grammy Awards, and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2009. By these standards, Metallica would be judged as “more substantial” than The Offspring.

Black Sabbath, earlier mentioned, were an English rock band formed in 1968 by Tommy Iommi, Geezer Butler, Ozzy Osbourne, and Bill Ward. Often seen as pioneers in heavy metal music for their occult themes and image, their 1970 self-titled debut album was poorly reviewed, but a commercial success. By their 1973 album Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, they had begun to win the critics over while still remaining popular. The band broke up in 2017, and are often regarded as the greatest metal band of all time. Black Sabbath have won two Grammy Awards and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2006.

A riff is a short repeated musical phrase, generally used as the opening or refrain of a song. Both being heavy metal bands, it isn’t surprising that Metallica sometimes have similar riffs to Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath were pioneers in the genre, so their riffs tended to set the standard for defining what heavy metal sounds like. A particularly noticeable example is the opening riff to Metallica’s 1984 track For Whom the Bell Tolls, and its similarity to the final riff in Black Sabbath’s 1970 track Fairies Wear Boots.

A chord progression is a series of musical chords played in a sequence. Certain chord progressions become very popular in certain genres, so it wouldn’t be surprising for The Offspring, like many other bands, to rely heavily on a certain chord progression. The Offspring often uses the I-V-vi-IV progression very popular in punk music, but so ubiquitous that it can also be found in songs by Bruce Springsteen, Coldplay, Celine Dion, Green Day, Madonna, Red Hot Chili Peppers, John Denver, and many others – it’s also the chord progression in Auld Lang Syne.

Christopher later says that he and Lorelai are arguing just like an old married couple, which he sees as a good sign for their relationship. Instead, you can see that they are arguing like a couple of teenagers, and that neither of them is mature enough for marriage.

UPS

CHRISTOPHER: Oh man, I told Rory not to rat me out [about having his credit card declined]. I can’t believe she did that.
LORELAI: She didn’t. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy, and ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. And then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it.

UPS is the United Parcel Service, an American package delivery company. There is a UPS Store in Wallingford, which seems to be close to the location of Stars Hollow. Lorelai’s comment suggests there is a UPS Store in Stars Hollow for the delivery man to be up on town gossip and have Lorelai’s phone number (although it’s possible she’s joking). It is also confirmed here that the town has its own web page – unless Lorelai is joking about that.

“Hello, pyjamas”

When Christopher says that Lorelai’s reference to Fred Mertz from I Love Lucy was a weird one in that context, she replies, “Hello, pyjamas”, and gestures down at the pyjamas she is wearing.

It may not be immediately obvious to the viewer that Lorelai is wearing pyjamas with an I Love Lucy pattern on them, explaining not only that the show was on her mind, but that she truly loves the show and knows a lot about it.

The pyjamas are inspired by the famous Job Switching episode of I Love Lucy, which aired September 1952. In the episode, Lucy and Ethel get jobs at a candy factory while their husbands have to do the housework for a week. There is a classic scene where Lucy and Ethel try to wrap chocolates as they come off the conveyer belt, with disastrous results. It is this which Lorelai’s pyjamas commemorate.

You can buy a pair of these pyjamas from The Lucy Store, and elsewhere, for about $50.

Lorelai and Christopher

We learn in their scene together on the balcony of Lorelai’s childhood bedroom that this is where Rory was conceived. As Rory was born in late October, it means that Lorelai and Christopher had sex outdoors in January, which seems ridiculously cold and uncomfortable. They then recreate it by having sex on the balcony again, this time at night in early March, when it is still very cold in Connecticut. I’m not sure the Californian writer, who had only visited Connecticut in the summer, really thought this one through.

From what we see of Christopher in later episodes, it seems to be one of his less endearing qualities that he is quick to make a move on Lorelai whenever they are together and she is in an emotionally vulnerable state – in this case, crying after a terrible argument with her father, and drinking tequila that he gave her. It makes you wonder if this is how they originally had sex as teenagers. Did Christopher wait until she was at a low point after a fight with her parents, then ply her with alcohol?

In any case, it’s a horrible thing for both of them to do to Rory, as they go off to be alone together just when she most needs their love and reassurance. (It’s done so that Rory can have a touching scene with Emily, but still makes Lorelai and Christopher look bad). Rory is old enough to wonder where they went, and shrewd enough to make a guess as to what they were doing, as her questions to Lorelai show. For a child who obviously secretly longs to have her father in her life, it’s cruel to give her that kind of hope that her parents might be getting back together.

The Bahamas

RICHARD: Well Straub, how is retirement treating you?
EMILY: Yes, do tell us about the Bahamas.
STRAUB: You can get an entire island there for the cost of a decent house here.

The Bahamas (officially the Commonwealth of The Bahamas) is a sovereign state made up of an archipelago of over 700 islands, cays, and islets in the Atlantic Ocean. Under British control for most of its modern history, it has been independent since 1973, but, like other Commonwealth nations, retains the British monarch as head of state.

The Bahamas is a popular destination for Americans to retire to: it is English-speaking, has a warm climate with beautiful beaches, and only 40 minutes by plane from Florida. Residents don’t pay any tax either, which is another drawcard, and to become a permanent resident, all you have to do is buy a property worth $500 000 or more.

It is possible to buy a very small island in The Bahamas today for as little as $500 000 – the price of a nice house in Hartford. I suspect for Straub, a “decent” house in Hartford would be around the 1 million mark in today’s money, and for a million dollars, you could get a rather nice little islet in The Bahamas.

That Straub and Francine live in The Bahamas provides a convenient excuse as to why they haven’t been any part of Rory’s life. (Emily asks them what The Bahamas is like, but in a later season we discover she and Richard spent the previous Christmas in The Bahamas, presumably so that Richard could relax after his angina attack).

Pop-Tarts

SOOKIE: You – get in here and tell me the happenings at home.
LORELAI: I’m assuming you mean “did we get our toaster fixed” and no, it’s been cold Pop-Tarts for a week, it’s like a damn Dickens novel.

Pop-Tarts are convenience food pastries, introduced by the Kellogg Company in 1964. Pop-Tarts are thin, retangular pieces of pastry sealed with a sugary, flavoured filling, often with frosting (icing) on the outside.

They are already cooked, so you can eat them cold, as Lorelai and Rory have been doing, without ill-effect, but are designed to be warmed in a toaster or a microwave. Why the Gilmores haven’t been heating theirs in the microwave is a mystery. Presumably they prefer to eat them cold rather than microwaved.

Pop-Tarts are Lorelai and Rory’s go-to breakfast when they eat at home, so of course they are a nutritional nightmare – high in calories (at least 200 per Pop-Tart), low in nutrients, and loaded with sugar. Just two Pop-Tarts (a standard serve) contain all of the recommended daily sugar allowance.

Lorelai and Rory are hardly unusual though: Pop-Tarts are Kellogg’s most popular brand in the United States, and sales have continued to rise every year for more than thirty years.

Porsche

CHRISTOPHER: So you have zero faith?
LORELAI: I’ve known you since I was six, Chris. You’re the guy that crashed his Porsche two hours after his parents gave it to him for his 16th birthday.

Porsche is a German car manufacturer specialising in sports cars, SUVs, and luxury sedans. It’s possible Christopher’s parents bought him a 1984 Porsche 924, a two-door coupe intended to be their entry-level model. It seems like an expensive but not totally reckless gift for a spoiled, rich teenager. In real life, Christopher wouldn’t have had his driver’s licence at sixteen, although I can imagine him just taking the car out anyway.

We learn here that Lorelai and Christopher weren’t just friends before they started dating, they were childhood friends, and have known each other most of their lives.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday”

RORY: I’m gonna go study before the food gets here.
CHRISTOPHER: What? Tomorrow’s Saturday.

At this point we discover, surely to our astonishment, that it is now Friday evening. To recap the events of the day:

Lorelai and Luke unloaded their paint, and made plans to paint the diner on Friday. We now know that it was already Friday then, but for some reason they don’t say “next Friday”, or “in a week’s time”. Despite having a whole week to do the painting, Lorelai decides on Friday, which is not only the day she goes to business class, but Friday Night Dinner with her parents! She says this doesn’t matter, as she can “get out early” for a special occasion. That Emily would consider painting Luke’s diner a “special occasion” is highly dubious.
Lorelai and Rory went to the market to buy fruit as Lorelai felt under the weather and was worried about her nutrient intake (maybe this is how she stays healthy – she eats just enough fruits and vegetables not to get sick). Lorelai and Rory met Christopher in the street.
Christopher came to stay with them, and they ordered Chinese food for dinner while Rory did her homework.

So what the heck happened to Friday Night Dinner? Did they skip it that week? And is Lorelai even attending business class any more? And if this is Friday, March 9 then we will definitely run out of Friday nights before the end of the month.

(Also take note that Christopher is completely unaware of his daughter’s study habits or zest for academic life. He really knows nothing about Rory, and they can’t have ever had a proper conversation before).

Memorial Day

RORY: Hey, how’s Diane?
CHRISTOPHER: Uh, Diane is ancient history.
RORY: When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one.
CHRISTOPHER: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is a public holiday in the United States to remember those who have died while serving in the armed forces. It’s observed on the last Monday of May, which in 2000 was May 29. It is commemorated with military parades, and by decorating the graves of fallen soldiers with American flags. Memorial Day is considered the unofficial start of summer.

Christopher brought his girlfriend Diane to meet Rory at Easter in 2000, which would have been April 23, telling her that the relationship was serious and possibly permanent. About a month later, the relationship with Diane was over, yet he doesn’t bother telling Rory that until March 2001.

There’s been almost of year of phone calls from Christopher, yet he hasn’t thought to fill Rory in on a significant event in his life such as breaking up with a supposedly serious girlfriend he was thinking of marrying.

The writer (Daniel Palladino for this episode) is keen to drum it in that Christopher is an inattentive father, but it also means that Rory and Lorelai haven’t bothered asking him how Diane is in all that time either – even after she didn’t turn up to Christmas with him (unless Christopher kept fobbing them off with evasive answers).

The Rental in Martha’s Vineyard

LORELAI: What’s going on?
RICHARD: Oh, your mother and I have just secured a place on Martha’s Vineyard.

Richard and Emily are pleased at the price they got their summer rental on Martha’s Vineyard for, due to the unexpected death of the previous tenant. We don’t know what kind of house it is, except that it is said to be a fine property with a library, and larger grounds than they had before, suggesting something pretty fancy.

Today you could rent a very nice house on Martha’s Vineyard for around $5000 a week in the summer, but a luxury property might be $10 000-$15 000 a week, and one on the waterfront could easily cost around $40 000 a week.