“I love these women”

[Lorelai and Rory are on the couch watching television]

RORY: I like these women.

LORELAI: I love these women.

During the cold open, Lorelai and Rory watch Grey Gardens, a 1975 documentary by Albert and David Maysles. The film depicts the everyday lives of two reclusive, upper-class women, a mother and daughter both named Edith Beale, who lived in poverty at Grey Gardens, a derelict mansion in the wealthy Georgica Pond neighbourhood of East Hampton, New York.

Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale (1895–1977), known as “Big Edie”, and her daughter Edith Bouvier Beale (1917–2002), known as “Little Edie”, were the aunt and the first cousin, respectively, of former US First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. The two women lived together at the Grey Gardens estate for more than fifty years with limited funds in increasing squalor and isolation.

Throughout the fall of 1971 and into 1972, their living conditions—their house was infested by fleas, inhabited by numerous cats and raccoons, deprived of running water, and filled with garbage and decay—were exposed as the result of an article in the National Enquirer and a cover story in New York Magazine after a series of inspections by the Health Department.

With the Beale women facing eviction and the razing of their house, in the summer of 1972 Jacqueline Onassis and her sister Lee Radziwill provided the necessary funds to stabilize and repair the dilapidated house so that it would meet village codes.

Albert and David Maysles became interested in their story and received permission to film a documentary about the women, which was released in 1976 to wide critical acclaim. Their direct cinema technique left the women to tell their own stories.

The film was controversial from the start, with some feeling that the Beales were being exploited, and that because they were paid for taking part, the documentary was ethically compromised.

“Big Edie” died in 1977 and “Little Edie” sold the house in 1979, dying in Florida in 2002. The fashion designer Liz Lange now owns the house, which has been extensively remodelled and landscaped.

Lorelai and Rory both enjoy eccentric biographies, and stories about mother-daughter relationships, so this film is a natural fit for them. It’s clear they can see a little of themselves in “Big Edie” and “Little Edie” – like the Beales, the Gilmores share the same name. Other similarities are that their home is similarly described as needing work (“The Crapshack”), and they live a life of of genteel squalor, doing exactly as they please. Most importantly, like the Beales, the Gilmore girls are intensely codependent.

It’s hard not to think that Gilmore Girls was influenced to some extent by Grey Gardens – their names even have the same initials!

“Details tomorrow”

RORY: Mom?

LORELAI: [turns around] Yeah?

RORY: Details tomorrow.

LORELAI: Ah, thank God. ‘Cause you know what not knowing these things does to me.

The first time Rory kissed Dean, she told Lorelai all about it shortly afterwards. Now, two years later, she says she will tell Lorelai all about her first kiss with Jess, as if Lorelai is a best friend, not her mother. The lack of boundaries here is getting a bit worrying.

Rory Apologises to Dean

RORY: I wanna say that I’m sorry … For treating you the way I did. For doing all the things you said I did. I am so, so sorry. It’s all my fault. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You were the most amazing boyfriend in the world. You made me so happy. You made me laugh, you made my mother like you, you were nice to my friends, you protected me, you even came with me to that stupid debutante ball … I really did love you. Please believe that … I don’t wanna talk about him. I just came to tell you that I’m truly sorry that I hurt you, and that I’m going to miss you so much, and I just hope that someday you won’t hate me anymore.

DEAN: I hope so, too.

Rory apologises to Dean, taking complete responsibility for the relationship failing. Dean, of course, lets her, as a sign he really wasn’t the amazing boyfriend she says he was. The rose-coloured glasses seem to have started almost the moment Rory and Dean broke up for the second time, and it is troubling that the first thing she does after kissing her new boyfriend Jess is to tell her old boyfriend how much she misses him.

In an earlier season, Rory’s kiss with Tristan helped show her how deep her feelings were for Dean, and how unhappy she was that they broke up. Her kiss with Jess seems to have triggered something similar – perhaps a realisation that she has never had a chance to grieve for the loss of Dean before moving on with Jess. There’s a part of Rory that cannot let go of Dean, and this will lead to unfortunate consequences.

“I have to go”

RORY: I have to go.

JESS: What? Did I do something or –

RORY: No, no. This was . . . you were – are . . . it was wonderful, and I look forward to many similar occurrences in the future, but right now, I have to go. Understand?

JESS: Not at all.

RORY: It’s more fun that way, isn’t it?

Rory has to go straight after the kiss because she is going to see Dean. Jess may not have found that explanation quite so quirky and charming. It feels as if Rory is being emotionally dishonest with Jess right from their first kiss as a couple. Unfortunately, one of the things she may have learned from being with Dean is that it isn’t always safe to be honest with your boyfriend.

Although seriously, apart from plot drama, did Rory really have to see Dean right after her first kiss with her new boyfriend? This also feels like “the games beginning” between Rory and Jess.

Then She Appeared

A 1992 song by English rock band XTC, written by vocalist Andy Partridge, a track from their album Nonsuch. The album was critically acclaimed, and went to #28 in the UK and #97 in the US, topping Rolling Stone’s College Album Chart.

The lyrics extravagantly describe a man feeling dazzled and even slightly frightened when the woman he loves appears out of nowhere with a beauty compared to the goddess Venus. The song plays during the kiss between Jess and Rory, summing up exactly how Jess feels.

Rory and Jess Kiss

JESS: Well, whatever else happens between us, at least we know that part works.

Rory and Jess leave the diner separately, Jess claiming that he has to pick up a part for his car, while Rory needs to get home and study. As Lorelai knew immediately, that meant they were planning to meet somewhere.

When Rory catches up with Jess, they kiss. It’s not their first kiss – that happened at Sookie’s wedding about six months previously. But it is their first kiss as a couple (closely followed by their second kiss as a couple).

It is two weeks since Rory and Dean broke up, so they haven’t rushed into kissing, probably because Luke walked in on them when they tried before. Jess’ comment makes it clear that the physical attraction between them is not going to be a problem, whatever else might be.

The viewer might note from Jess’ comment that he is expecting other types of problems to come between them, which is remarkably foresighted for a teenage boy, or unusually cynical.

Rory Confronts her Grandfather

RORY: Why did you make this appointment without telling me about it? … I know it was an important opportunity. That’s why I can’t believe you didn’t prepare me for it. I didn’t have my transcripts, my letters of recommendation. I couldn’t even remember what I wanted to major in when he asked … I didn’t have to be that nervous. I could’ve been calm. I could’ve brushed my hair. I never would’ve worn this … It matters to me. I like to be prepared. This has nothing to do with Mom. If you had really wanted me to take this meeting, I would’ve done it just because you asked me to. And I would’ve done it right.

Rory is also very unhappy with Richard because of the way he sprung the interview on her. Rory hates feeling unprepared, needed to have all her records with her, and would have made more effort with her appearance if she’d known the interview was coming up. She lets Richard know that if he’d only asked her, she would have willingly attended the interview if he’d asked her to, it wouldn’t have mattered what Lorelai thought. But she disliked being tricked into it, and the fact that Richard didn’t trust her enough to be honest. Rory leaves with Lorelai in the taxi as a sign of her displeasure.

Richard Arranges an Interview for Rory

RICHARD: Oh, I told him all about you and your grades and how well you were doing at Chilton. Well, of course, he insisted on seeing you. He wouldn’t let me off the hook.

RORY: But I haven’t applied to Yale.

RICHARD: Oh, I told him that you weren’t finished deciding, that you were being very picky. I think that made him want you even more. They can be very competitive, these Ivy League schools. He’s expecting you at three. Oh, look, it’s three now. Well, we timed this perfectly now, didn’t we?

While showing them the Administration Building, it transpires that Richard’s real reason for bringing Rory to Yale is to get her an interview with the Dean of Admissions, who turns out to be a good friend of Richard’s (shades of Chilton, where Headmaster Charleston was a good friend of Richard and Emily’s).

Lorelai is outraged by Richard’s manipulation, but he has a point. Lorelai has got a bee in her bonnet about Rory going to Harvard and nowhere else, and this was the only way that Richard believed he could give his granddaughter a chance to go to Yale if she wanted to. As he points out, Ivy League colleges are very competitive, and it would be easier for Rory to get into Yale as a legacy, because her grandfather went to Yale.

Although Emily didn’t know what Richard planned to do, she does try to defend him from Lorelai. She points out that if Rory got accepted by Yale, it might make her more attractive to Harvard, which I don’t think Lorelai would have thought of by herself.

Lorelai’s Dreams of Yale

RICHARD: You know, one day, when your mother was ten years old, she ran into my office and she said, “I’m going to go to Yale, just like you.” She actually took my diploma out of my office and put it in her room. She wouldn’t give it back to me for about six months.

Rory learns from Richard that Lorelai’s original dream for college, was not Harvard, but Yale. This was when she was ten years old, and presumably before her teenage years drove a wedge between father and daughter.

Richard’s point could not be clearer – if Rory is hanging onto a dream of going to Harvard to fulfil what Lorelai wanted, then that wasn’t even Lorelai’s original plan. And if Lorelai changed her mind, then Rory can too.

Richard and Emily’s Engagement

EMILY: We were going to meet my girlfriends who were going to drive me back to school.

RICHARD: And you were angry with me.

EMILY: Because you wouldn’t commit to plans for the holidays.

RICHARD: Because I was going to invite you to the house to meet my parents after I proposed.

EMILY: Which I didn’t know because you gave me no indication whatsoever.

RICHARD: Anyway, you had just finished calling me a spineless jellyfish.

EMILY: And you got very annoyed, reached in your pocket, pulled out a box and said, “Here.”

RICHARD: And you opened the box, showed no emotion, slammed it close and said, “Fine.”

Richard and Emily describe the circumstances of their engagement at Yale University, which happens during a fight while sitting next to a trash can, with the engagement ring being offered and accepted in a fit of temper. It’s somehow reminiscent of screwball romantic comedies of the 1930s and ’40s.

They were both in collage at the time – when Emily says she was going back to “school”, she means her own college. They must have got engaged at the end of the year, because they were arguing about their “holiday” (ie Christmas) plans at the time. Yet they were still able to sit outside, so it can’t have been freezing or snowing – surely they would have mentioned that if it had been the case? They may have got engaged in November, before Thanksgiving – around this time of year, in fact, although neither of them mentions that the date is close.