Jackson and Sookie

Jackson tells Sookie he isn’t ready for marriage yet, but is willing to move in with Sookie. She doesn’t take him seriously – or does she cleverly pretend not to take him seriously?

We know that Sookie is basically a Relationship Jedi Master, so possibly she doesn’t want to turn down Jackson’s offer of moving in, but neither does she want to say yes, because she really does want to be Jackson’s wife, not his live-in girlfriend. Nor does she want Jackson to move in with her out of a sense of obligation, or to keep her happy.

By jokingly refusing to listen to Jackson’s offer, Sookie leaves the question of marriage up in the air, so that it can be revisited later. Her strategy pays off when she and Jackson get married in the next season.

It seems very reasonable that Jackson isn’t ready for marriage – he and Sookie have only been dating for about five months. Lorelai and Max have been dating for about two months since they got back together, and we know how that’s going to turn out, so it really does look as if they are rushing their marriage plans.

It’s interesting that just as Lorelai hits the dreaded “two month mark” in her relationship with Max, he conveniently has to go to Toronto for six weeks. If he hadn’t gone to teach summer school, would their relationship have survived much longer? Lorelai’s past behaviour suggests it wouldn’t.

“You could go to a fancy school if you wanted to”

DEAN: I mean, I’m not going to a fancy school. I don’t have that kind of pressure. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like.
RORY: You could go to a fancy school if you wanted to.
DEAN: I don’t think so.
RORY: Why not? You’re smart.

Rory continues trying to make Dean into something he’s not – he’s an average student who likes playing sport and home mechanics, but she persists in making him read classic literature, and telling him he could get into a private school if he wanted to. On some level, she cannot be satisfied with Dean as a boyfriend if she won’t accept him not being a bookworm and not going to private school.

Dean is too polite to make the obvious comeback: that he doesn’t have rich grandparents who can bankroll his academic dreams. Even Rory, a very good student, couldn’t get into Chilton on a scholarship, so what hope does Dean have of attending a similar school with average grades and no money for school fees?

Rory and Dean Make Up

DEAN: I’m so sorry, Rory.
RORY: I’m sorry too.
DEAN: I don’t even know what happened.
RORY: We had a fight, that’s all.
DEAN: I mean, I’ve just missed you and …
RORY: I’ve missed you too.

You can see that Rory is now far more assured and secure in her relationship after her third fight with Dean. Compare her calm attitude after this one, where she actually did behave rather badly, to the huge effort she made to “win Dean back” after a minor disagreement about an old television show. She knows now that Dean loves her and won’t leave her, and just a simple apology will get things back on track so they can kiss and make up.

“Just as infatuated”

MAX: Will you still want me when I get back?
LORELAI: I think there’s a very good possibility that I will be just as infatuated with you then as I am now.

Max’s asking if Lorelai will still want when he returns from Toronto is a reminder of the song Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, earlier discussed. It’s noteworthy that Lorelai still hasn’t told Max that she loves him, just as she admitted to Rory that she couldn’t say “I love you”, even as she urged Rory to say it to Dean. Here she only says she is “infatuated” with him, suggesting an intense but short-lived passion. Again, Max fails to pick up on this red flag.

“Every gift so far has been for you”

MAX: I don’t know if you’ve realised, but every gift so far has been for you.
LORELAI: Yes, well, in this town, I am the queen. You are simply my jester.
MAX: A position I happily accept.

For reasons which are not made entirely clear, Lorelai Gilmore is the queen bee of Stars Hollow, and has an almost celebrity status in the town. You can see that all the gifts are extremely girly, such as a matching Hello Kitty waffle iron, toaster, kettle, and lamp, floral chinaware, and lavender lamps. They are the kind of gifts you might give a young girl, rather than a mature woman who is already a mother, and about to be married. Max is almost superfluous at his own engagement party.

Lorelai does not say that Max will be her king, or stand beside her as her equal. She is making it clear that she is the boss in this relationship, and that Max is just there for her amusement. It doesn’t sound like a good basis for a marriage, and for Max to “happily accept” it is a warning that he’s either delusional or doesn’t take her seriously. Big mistake.

“You didn’t by any chance invite my parents?”

LORELAI: Hey, you didn’t by any chance invite my parents, did you?
SOOKIE: Actually, I did.
LORELAI: Oh.
SOOKIE: And at first, I was really torn because I know you have issues with them, but it is your wedding and I assumed you wanted them to be there. Oh no, your mother told you.
LORELAI: Sort of.

Lorelai here discovers that her mother knew she was getting married because Sookie told her, bringing about a terrible argument between mother and daughter. To her credit, Lorelai doesn’t blame Sookie for her faux pas, possibly recognising that it was her own responsibility to tell Emily about her marriage first, and that she never explained the situation properly to Sookie.

Lorelai Confronts Her Mother

LORELAI: Do you know how it felt for me to tell you that I was getting married and to have you just brush it off like that? Do you know?
EMILY: No I don’t, I don’t know! Possibly very similar to finding out from a complete stranger that my only daughter was getting married and had told every other person in the world before she bothered to tell her own mother. Possibly it felt something like that. Now if you’ll excuse me, it is late, and I am going to bed.

Lorelai finally gets to tell her mother how she felt about having her engagement news treated so coldly. But in return, Emily gets to tell her that she already knew Lorelai was getting married, having heard it from someone she barely knows (she exaggerates by saying “a complete stranger”; she already met Sookie at Rory’s second birthday party).

A shocked and chastened Lorelai walks out of the house, for once having to consider someone else’s feelings more than her own.

“Thirty-two years”

EMILY: And what about me confuses you Lorelai?
LORELAI: Well, so many things. I mean, for example, why can’t you keep a maid in this house? I mean, there must’ve been a thousand women who’ve gone through here in the thirty-two years that I’ve been alive, and not one of them could stick it out.

In fact, Lorelai had her birthday about two months ago, and is now thirty-three. It’s possible that at this stage Lorelai’s birthday had not been settled on, and it might have been imagined as later in the year.

Poor Max is left to stand uncomfortably by the door, unwelcome and completely unacknowledged by Lorelai and Emily while they have their fight. It’s an inauspicious meeting with his prospective mother-in-law, and demonstrates he is little more than a sideshow in Lorelai’s life.

Max’s Parents

While they are on a dinner date together in Hartford, Max tells Lorelai that he has told his parents about their engagement. They were absolutely thrilled, and insisted on paying a small amount toward the wedding, just so they could feel involved. (From Max’s description, it sounds as if his parents live fairly close).

Mrs Medina cried with happiness before saying Lorelai can call her “Mom” if she wants to, and offered her own wedding dress for Lorelai to wear. Apparently Max’s mother is quite large, because Max says it would take three Lorelais to fill her dress out.

All this is such a contrast to Emily’s frosty reception to her news that Lorelai becomes angry and upset. She and Max leave the restaurant (another meal out that Lorelai didn’t finish eating), and she forces him to take her to her parents’ house so she can confront her mother, ignoring Max’s pleas to be more reasonable, and to try to see things from Emily’s viewpoint

Eye candy

MAX: Is something wrong?
LORELAI: No.
MAX: You can tell me. That’s what I’m here for.
LORELAI: I thought it was just for eye candy.

Eye candy is slang for a person or object which is attractive and pleasing to look at; a treat for the eyes. Lorelai’s joke probably has some truth to it – that her attraction to Max is mostly physical.