Tag: Relationship Insight

Rory’s Birthday Present from Emily

Lorelai claims that she’s helping Emily pick out the “perfect present” for Rory during their joint shopping trip. Given how expensive her own gift to Rory is, does anyone else think that Lorelai is actually (consciously or unconsciously) sabotaging Emily’s gift-buying so that she can’t compete with Lorelai? Instead of something valuable, she ends up with a cheap, tacky name bracelet that doesn’t really seem like something Rory would appreciate.

On the other hand, the bracelet does seem like something Lorelai would have liked as a teenager. The shopping trip becomes the kind of outing that she and her mother might have learned to enjoy together if Lorelai hadn’t got pregnant. Through it she can vicariously experience what it would have been like to have her mother buy her the things that she valued, such as junk jewellery and celebrity tee-shirts, instead of the pearls and cashmere that Emily would have given her as suitable gifts for a young girl of good family.

It is another sign of Lorelai’s immaturity and ego, and also how deep down she still longs for a relationship with her mother. If not deliberate sabotage, it’s a hint that she may not know Rory as well as she thinks she does.

Parallel Dating Lives

By the end of the episode, both Lorelai and Rory are in the same situation. They have both been romantically pursued by a male, and given him the impression they would prefer to be left alone. Both Girlmore girls have to tell the guy they actually are interested in dating him to keep him hanging around. Both of them have kept their romantic lives a secret from the other; Lorelai has been found out, while Rory keeps quiet about Dean – Lorelai is already getting suspicious though.

Throughout the first season, the relationship between Rory and Dean was constantly in parallel with Lorelai’s relationship with Max.

“They grow up so fast”

While talking with Lorelai, Babette mourns the death of her elderly cat Cinnamon, remembering the time when she was a tiny kitten. As she and Morey are a childless couple, Babette speaks of Cinnamon’s passing as if she and Morey have lost a child, even mentioning an Oprah episode about bereaved parents whose marriages didn’t survive.

Babette’s feelings for Cinnamon serve as a parallel to Lorelai’s for Rory’s (the cat and the girl are probably even of similar ages). I believe Cinnamon was changed from a male cat to a female one to make this parallel more obvious.

Lorelai must also face “losing Rory” one day – not to death, but to adulthood. She knows that Rory is growing up, and that she has to learn to let her go, and to find a way to make a life for herself that isn’t based around caring for Rory.

This helps to inform her decision about dating Max: Rory is growing up, and Lorelai can’t put her own life on hold forever.

The Bangles

MAX: I think we should date.
LORELAI: Why?
MAX: Because I think we both want to.
LORELAI: Well I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn’t mean I quit my job and get a guitar and ruin my life to be a Bangle, does it?

The Bangles are an all-female American pop-rock band formed in 1981. Their classic line-up is Michael Steele, Susanna Hoffs, Debbi Peterson, and Vicki Peterson. They are best known for their 1980s hits such as Manic Monday and Walk Like an Egyptian.

Max talks about The Bangles being broken up, and while they did break up around 1990, they re-formed in 1998 and are still together. Lorelai and Max don’t seem to be aware of this yet. The Bangles breaking up and getting back together mirrors Lorelai and Max’s future relationship.

This is the first time we learn of Lorelai’s love for The Bangles, and her desire to be in the band.

Rory and Richard

We get to see Rory bond with her grandfather in this episode, as they discover that they share an interest in reading and travel, and find it easy to talk to each other. More than that, Rory seems to respect Richard’s successful career in insurance, which Lorelai has always rather looked down on.

Richard likewise feels proud of Rory when he realises that his peers admire Rory for being pretty and polite, and attending a prestigious school. He does end up “showing her off at the club”, just as Emily instructed.

Spoiled twins

Mrs. Shales (Meagen Fay) tells Lorelai that her daughters, twins Jackie and Jessica (Kelly and Ashley Cohen), were spoiled by their father. As a result, she can barely stand the sight of them, and is sick and tired of their quarrelling.

This provides an example to Lorelai of what could go wrong with her relationship with Rory: she could become spoiled by her wealthy grandparents to the point that it affects her relationship with Lorelai. It helps feed Lorelai’s fears during the episode.

“Well why don’t you just let Rory decide?”

When Rory says she has to learn a sport for school, with golf as one of the options available, Emily suggests that Richard teach her golf that weekend. Lorelai begs her mother privately not to manipulate Richard and Rory to go golfing together, as she believes Richard doesn’t want to teach her, and Rory doesn’t want to go.

At this point neither Richard nor Rory have displayed any enthusiasm for Emily’s plan, but neither have shown any real distaste for it either, so Lorelai’s views aren’t backed up by anything concrete. No wonder Emily calls her out on it, saying that Lorelai is frightened that Rory might enjoy herself with her grandfather.

Once again, we get the picture that Lorelai often doesn’t seek out Rory’s opinions because she believes she already knows how she will feel – she will feel just as Lorelai does. Emily’s pointed suggestion that Lorelai might actually try letting Rory decide for herself is a real slap in the face for Lorelai. She has always depicted her mother as controlling, but in this case it is she who is having trouble relinquishing control over her daughter.

Lorelai stops the conversation, unable to face the fact that she might be more like her mother than she realises.

Al’s Pancake World

Rory jokingly suggests that Lorelai date Al from Al’s Pancake World instead of Luke. This local restaurateur is never seen in the show, although Lorelai and Rory often order food from him, even though it’s apparently not very good. As she talks about Lorelai marrying Al, we can see Luke in the background as a hint of Lorelai’s true romantic destiny, and the episode ends with a shot of Luke framed by the diner.

“You have to go in with me”

Rory insists that Lorelai go in with her to meet the headmaster – our first clear sign of Rory’s deep dependence on her mother, especially in situations where she has to meet new people. Lorelai doesn’t encourage it, and tries to send her off on her own with a wave and a smile, but when Rory begs her mother for support, Lorelai can’t say no to her. This pattern is set to continue into Rory’s adult years.

(It also makes us wonder – did Lorelai deliberately sabotage her wardrobe choices, hoping that she would look so embarrassing that Rory would not want her mother to accompany her? If so, her plan fails, and she looks like an idiot for nothing).